Expert: Norm Bishop - 1/23/2011

Question
My ex-wife recently put our 8 year old son on ritalin without my knowledge. I only found out when I was going through his homework folder and found a note for him to see the nurse everyday after lunch. I am opposed to this type of treatment for his ADHD. We have equal physical and legal custody of him and while I know I should see a lawyer I was hoping you may have some insight into this from an educators perspective. I'm certainly not asking for legal advice and any comments you have on this matter would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Answer
It may not be so horrible that your son is taking ritalin.  Students have used this medication for more than 20 years and there seem to be no apparent side effects, or negative behavior patterns as a result.  However, it has been my experience that in the classroom we see a positive effect from around 50% of those students taking the medication.  Hopefully your son is doing better in school as a result, both in terms of his school work and his control of behaviors previously of concern.  

Educators are not allowed to recommend or prescribe medication.  Your ex-wife would have to have taken him to a physician to get the prescription.  

I would advise that you first discuss your concerns calmly with your ex-wife and find out what her reasoning is for the medication.  Then I would talk to the doctor who prescribed the medication, so that you can get the same information about its effects, side-effects, etc.  After those discussions you can compare what you have heard with your son's patterns of behavior and have real information to share with an attorney, if that is necessary.

I would also advise that you make certain that there is a system of observing whether or not the medication is effective for your son.  As I stated earlier, it doesn't seem to have much of an effect with some children.  The prescribing doctor should be gathering information from your wife, who is talking to the teachers and other people who interact with your son on a regular basis.  That information could effect the continued use or the changing of dosage.  

I have been a "joint-custodial" parent and understand the frustrations that can come from the person who has the child the most acting as if you are not in the picture.  In my case, I discovered that I wasn't even listed as an emergency contact for my daughter, in fact, her school did not know that her step-live in father figure was not her actual, joint custodial father.  I managed to get all of that corrected, which made life much easier.  

I wish you and your son good luck...Norm