Expert: Sharon Crandall - 10/19/2011

Question
My son is a Freshman in high school. His goal is to join the military. He wants to be a fighter pilot. He is extremely talented and has always made good grades. This past spring he made the decision to come off medication and to begin to prepare for his future. School started pretty good, however, he now has mostly D's and F's. My husband is a great, but very strict father. Because of his grades, things have gotten very tense around here. All the punishments aren't working. I'm having a very hard time supporting my husband. He is constantly fussing at our son. CONSTANTLY! Do you have any suggestions? Are there any non-stimulant things that actually work?

Thank you......

Answer
Hello,

There is a product called Neo-beCalmed. You can buy it online. It is great to feed the brain and help a person think better. It is really a good product.

Now, as to your husband. Tell him to back off. Tell him that it is not working and not helpful and it is driving you crazy. At some point, a child has to experience the consequences of his choices on his own. At this age, you need to inspire more than punish. Punishments do not work very well, anyway. Sit him down and tell him that if he wants to become a fighter pilot he needs to get better grades. Help him work out some goals. Perhaps you can put together a poster so that he can see his progress on a chart with some fighter planes at the top, so that he can visually see what he is working for. Praise him for any step of progress. Commend him for getting off meds.

Stress from your husband is not helping him. What he is doing sounds like verbal abuse and so why should you support that? Force doesn't work. The only thing that works is inspiration and believing in a person. Tell your husband that if his methods were working, your son would be getting straight A's. You are going to have to be strong and put a stop to this.

Help your son make recordings on what he needs to memorize and move around while he listens to them. Some people's brains work better when they are moving around. Help him make a game of learning.

I do hope this helps.

Sharon Crandall
Personality Coach/Consultant
Private sessions available
www.personalityconsultant.com