Expert: Sharon Crandall - 2/16/2006

Question
My second grade boy is very bright and is always the first one to complete his work during classroom time.   He is reading at advanced levels and his test scores are very high. He will be in the gifted and Talented program at our school next year.   His problem is his organization skills.  He is constantly loosing things and forgetting to bring items to or from school that should be routine by this time in the school year.   His teacher also expressed concern about my son's constantly blurting out answers in class and that he is disruptive.  They have moved my son to a quiet part of the room so he doesn't disturb the other students.   Then my son may get caught up in reading a book and not move on to the next thing.   They asked for the school councilor to come and observe my son for a day and track his every move.   I think they are thinking he is ADD although they have never said those words.    It seems very common these days for teachers to pigeon hole certain students into the ADD category.   Is it possible that I just have a disruptive and disorganized 2nd grade boy that is bored with waiting for the rest of the class and doesn't have ADD?     
Thanks,
Janice Peterson

Answer
Dear Janice,

I am so glad you wrote to me.  I get so upset when I hear about someone like your son.  

The first thing to know is that the schools are wrong--not the kids.  It is amazing to me how a few experts can fool so many people by making teachers and others think that there is something wrong with a child when he exhibits normal behavior for him or her.  

The second thing to know is that there is no such thing as "normal" behavior in a school setting.  Schools are set up for those whose traits make it natural for them to sit quietly all day in a learning situation and many children are born with other types of traits that will express as important talents as they grow into adulthood and find occupations and careers in which they will shine and greatly contribute.

For years, what has been considered normal for a child--to wiggle, move, lurch, hit, jump, yell, and otherwise behave without control, etc. is now labeled as a disorder.  The reality is that some children have traits that strongly incline them to just not fit that false ideal presented to us by the "experts".  

So, where does that leave us?  I am just finishing a book on this subject for parents in which there will be descriptions of individual traits and their inclinations, the gift part that is valuable, and the challenge part, as far as a school setting goes.  

I can't give you the whole book here but it sounds like your bright son has the trait of Impetuous and also Locquacious.  This makes it very difficult for him to keep his mouth shut, so to speak. More about this later.

It also sounds like he is very high on the trait of concentration.  When children high on this trait get thinking on one line, they do not hear anything else.  The only way you can make contact is to touch him and have him look you in the eye.  How can he be expected to hear the teacher when he is so absorbed?  It only shows great concentration skills in those things that capture his interest.  

The first thing to do is celebrate your son's individuality while, unfortunately, only conforming is celebrated by our current school system.  There are schools who understand  and teach children in a very different way, which I would definitely consider with any child who is bright like that and expresses individuality.

Now, as to the traits of Impetuous and Locquacious. This means that there are cells impelling him to speak and act without thinking first; and that he has a high need to speak out. Now, this might sound a little negative but it really means that he will probably be a teacher or instructor, or trainer.  He may be a public speaker and may have lots of wonderful things to tell the world.  

Once you realize that these are traits that are his gifts then the next thing is to sit him down and tell him that you are so happy he loves to speak up and that he can concentrate so deeply that he sometimes doesn't hear the teacher.  Tell him, that you do expect him to work on these things as best he can, knowing that even any small control is to be appreciated.  

Children are not built to have a lot of self-control until the frontal lobes are fully developed at age 25.  At his age, it will increase a little every year.  One thing to do is to find an outlet for his expression so that he will spend the traits in the positive and not have as much need to use them where it causes disruption.

So, he needs to memorize poems and stories and then recite them to the family or tell the teacher.  I remember when recitation was an integrel part of school, where children got to be in the limelight and those who had high needs to publicly express themselves had some outlet.  So, provide him outlets by having family get togethers where he can show off and verbally express what he has learned.  

I just thought of an idea.  Perhaps you could get him some puppets and he could put on puppet shows where he can verbally express to his heart's content!  If he likes to sing, that is a form of verbal expression and so a Karioke machine might be a great thing for him.  

Children who talk a lot sometimes become comedians, sportscasters, news announcers, teachers, instructors, actors, entertainers, etc.  Depending on other traits, of course.

Well, this is only a little bit of how I could probably help you but it is a start.  Don't let them put your son in a category.  The main thing is to look for the seed of a gift or talent in the things that irritate you or others and try to help your child find a positive outlet.  Then, you can make up games where he has to "listen and learn", where he practices listening without talking and then writes down what he hears and the more he hears, the better the prize.  Find out what he would really like to have or do and give him incentives to work on controlling the behavior.  

As to his concentrating I still have that problem in not hearing others when I am in deep concentration but I have learned and you can learn to a certain extent through self-talk to hear others quicker.  This gift of concentration has done me well in my chosen field.  

It sounds like you are a great mother with good instincts or you would have just accept whatever "they" tell you. Be creative in how to inspire your son to do a bit better here and there until his brain develops to make it easier.

If you want to know about my book when it comes out write me at personalityconsultant1  at yahoo and I will keep you on my list for announcements and any info I get on special schools, etc.  I can answer another question or two in this venue and would also be available for further private consulting if you are interested.

I do hope this helps!

Sharon Crandall
Personality Consultant
Committed to the Freedom to be Authentic