About Angela Expertise I can help you determine if you or your child meet enough of the basic criteria for ADD/ADHD to seek further help, and offer guidance for seeing the proper professionals. I can help you plan, structure, and learn ways to help yourself or your child should you need organizational help, or simply better ways to cope with this disorder. I can tell you which drugs are being used and how they work, but I am not a physician.
Experience I am an adult with ADD and have 1 adult child and 1 toddler, both of whom have ADD. I have many years of trial and error experience with the numerous facets of this particular disorder, and a long history of ADHD research during college and throughout my own adult years. My employment background and education are centered in psychology and social services, and I know the specific havoc this disorder can wreak with teenagers, the multitude of problems it can create for adults dealing with it themselves or through their child(ren), signs to be alert for, and numerous coping, scheduling, and behavioral techniques. I have worked with troubled teens, adults, and parents of toddlers, all desperately trying to figure out what is "wrong", why they do the things they do, and why they can't seem to do some simple things that others do. Individuals with ADD generally want nothing more than to feel they have control over their lives. I am also familiar with the associated conditions of this disorder (depression, anxiety, ODD, conduct disorder,impulsivity, etc).
Question -------------------------
Hi Angela
Thanks for your detailed answer.
My son is 12 years old and my plan was to have him be tutored in the afternoons in order to teach him the material meant to be taught then (hopefully quicker since it is one-on-one) and to also prepare him for the mornings when he will be in a normal class. The tutor can also help my son with how to deal with daydreaming, distractions, etc. since he will have the tutors full attention.
Do you know of anything I can show a tutor so he can know how to properly develop the skills my son will need to eventually be independent of ritilin and the other crutches that the doctors and society are telling me he must have. I do not buy that he is doomed for life. Is there some protocol that has been used successfully with ADD kids in one on one learning?
What are the problems with purposely alternating medications during the week. For example one day give him ritilin and then next give him something else, etc.. This way many of the negative symptoms that one medication are known to have can be reduced or removed completely. That is why I would like to know what are the real negatives of changing medicaition.
My son does blink alot (closes his eyes longer than normal) and it seems (but we are not sure) to be related to the ritilin. Does that indicate something.
Thanks
David
Followup To
Question -
I have some questions about two of my kids that are on ritilin.
First, has it been found in studies that if ADD children were place in a loving, structured envirnoment, either in school and/or home, that there was marked improvement? For example, if one could arrange it, perhaps in the second half of the day (instead of being in a class) give private tutoring to a child in which he not only learns the normal subjects, but the tutor will help the child become more aware of his deficit and teach him ways to deal with it as well as give him a loving, yet disciplined direction.
Also, since there is more than one kind of medicine for ADD and since there appears to be some strong evidence of short term and long term negative symptoms, why not just alternative with different types of medication?
Thanks
David
Answer -
Hi David,
Thank you for your question. A constant environment of love and age-appropriate structure is the best thing for any child, and a child with ADD/ADHD is no different. For parents, it may seem that the ADHD child requires much more love and much more structure than the non-ADHD child – but generally speaking, they simply require much more patience - and an understanding that affection may need to be displayed more often, and rules may have to be explained and repeated many, many times. Also, too much “rigid” structure may be counterproductive; set rules that are workable for the entire household, but be prepared for your child(ren) to lapse many times before each rule or timetable is ‘set' in their minds. The studies that have been conducted in this area have mainly shown that ADHD children do better on all levels when there is reliable consistency in their daily lives.
Actually, I like your idea of having them tutored for half of each day. I don't know how old your children are, or where they are during the other half of the day, but they do still need to be able to interact with children their own age on a regular basis (and they need continuing opportunities to deal with everyday situations outside their home). If you tutor them at home, try to break up each class session into smaller time periods. Being tutored away from school will not make their attention span any longer, but it will give them a chance to occasionally recharge and re-focus. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for any ADD/ADHD child to sit still and/or stay focused for the entire length of a class, and the end result is that the reactions of others begin to teach them that they are “bad”, “lazy”, or “a problem”.
Therapy is almost always recommended for ADD/ADHD, so if you have someone who is trained to work with ADHD children, that is a definite plus. It almost requires someone with formal training to teach them how to cope, and how they can find ways to work around problem areas. The best thing you can do for your kids is to provide the tutoring and also set them up for regular counseling visits. As an ADD person myself, I can say from hard-learned, first-hand experience that love and good intentions are simply not enough. It is one heck of a great start, and is a support that is very much needed, but this disorder can so seriously distort mood, self-esteem, anger response, and so many other critical areas – that professional help has the potential to change their entire future.
I don't really want to say a lot about medications, because that is something your children's doctor has to decide – but do be sure to inform the doctor if you see unusual behavior, tics, or anything that doesn't seem to be the norm for them. There is as much, if not more, danger in constantly changing medications than there is in staying with the same one. Some of the newer medications have had good results with many children who were previously taking Ritalin – so you may want to ask their doctor about them.
Above all, it is just very good to hear from yet another parent who is doing everything possible to help their child(ren) – and doing it with love and total support. You are already doing more for them than you probably realize. Keep doing exactly what you are already doing – your children are very lucky to have you behind them.
If there is anything I did not cover, or if you should have more questions, please don't hesitate to contact me again. I am always here.
Angela
Answer Hi David,
I cannot apologize enough for taking such a ridiculously long time to answer your last question. Most of my reply was written when 'catastrophe' struck on this side. I had emergency surgery, and spent two weeks in the hospital. Once released, I spent several more weeks at my mother's (I am a single parent, and was unable to care for myself and my toddler alone - and my mother has no computer!). I have to admit that my own computer was far from my thoughts during that time. However, I am now home with my own computer, and getting back to the business at hand.
Since so much time has passed, you may not need my previous response - so it seemed best to ask where things stand at this point in time - and if you still need specific questions answered. Again, I am sincerely sorry for having left you "hanging", and hope things are working out well for you.
