Expert: Dr Billy Levin - 10/27/2007

Question
QUESTION: Dear Dr. Billy Levin.

I suspect a very dear friend of mine may have ADD. He is very disorganized, loses his keys frequently. His house is a mess: socks thrown on the floor, papers everywhere, dishes piled up in the sink,etc I tried to put a basket in the bathroom and suggested he should throw everything in there, but that has only worked for the first two days. Also, he is a doctor and was at the cardiology ward (he really wanted to become a cardiologist), but gave it up after a couple nurses have reported how disorganized he is to take notes and with papers from patients. He was very upset and changed to psychiatry, which he seems to be enjoying and is going to be sitting the final exam next march. I've also noticed he got very irritaded when waiting for a  flight at the airport (normal wait - we arrived 40 minutes earlier and had to wait for the flight, which was ontime and he did not have an appointment after the flight), in traffic after a whole day relaxing on the beach ( I didn't even think the traffic was so bad and kept trying to tell him stories and make him relax) and he doesn't like to respect lines - he actually disrespects it if he has a chance, which makes me feel shameful when I am with him. Also he moves his legs quickly a lot when sitting. We went to the mall once and he was wearing two different flipflops in each foot and when I showed him that he said that didnt matter since people in hospital thought he was a creative and eccentric genius - and he walked aboutin the mall very comfortably. I also worry he may have some issues related to alcohol abuse. I've gone out to have breakfast with him some times and he likes having two or three glasses of wine in the morning to cheer up the day and celebrate life, he says (even when I just take a glass of water, he won't mind having his wine all alone). I've also been with him once at a friend's and they've opened a bottle of whisky and he was drinking away not caring HE HAD TO DRIVE SOON. He just stopped because I told him very serioulsy: "Enough!!" Oh, and once we were together on a trip and I got lost for one hour in the city (day time), he put the police after me and I walked to the restaurant where we were sitting before and he was sobbing-crying, agitated AND drinking. After I arrived and hugged me, he kept very nervous and did NOT put the drink away (so I guess drinking is not just to celebrate for him). Am I right to consider he may have ADD or/and alcoholic problems? I've actually mentioned to him I find his behaviour with alcohool potentially dangerous and he says I'm just seeing too much but that he does want to have a healthier life style. What would be the approach for talking to him about ADD problem without getting him offended since he's actually a psychiatrist? What other ways can I help?

Thank you so much for your time, support and attention.
God bless you,

Amanda

ANSWER: It is very strange indeed that you should  ask advice about a Psychiatrist. He should know or he is in denial! I agree that his behavoiur and life style should be investigated for his own good. You can only lead a horse to the water, but not make him drink! Be tactful, honest but direct and sympatheticly suggest he should see somebody. After that, it is up to him and you have done your duty. Good luck!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: He may be in denial. His father also seems to have problems with alcohol and when I mentioned to him his dad may need help, he got very angry at me and said I should be careful when saying anything about his father - and I handnt said anything bad at all. One month later, he confided to me his grandma was worried about his dad's drinking and that they should avoid giving him alcoholic beverages. You see, Dr. Billy? It seems it's easy for him to say what other people have but when it comes to him or his family denial is the step. Anyway, I just wanted to talk to an expert to see if my concerns made sense and he would get away by saying "everything is under control and you have a lot of imagination, I am the doctor here"
I'll wait an opportunity to suggest he should see somebody, although I know he won't take it seriously.

Thank you very much,
Amanda

Answer
I have sent you a small section  about DYSRATIONALE from my book, to be published shortly. I think it explains all. I am looking for a publisher!

"If logic is situated on the left-brain, an immaturity here will result in some degree of illogical thinking. A person with poor logic will certainly be irrational to a lesser or greater degree. When somebody is tone deaf  (right –brain problem), and provided their logical functions are intact, their logical left- brain will indicate to them that they are not very musically endowed and they can readily accept this disability. When somebody is illogical due to the logical brain not functioning very efficiently, there is nothing to signal to them, that they are illogical. They will be irrational in their attitudes and possibly their behaviour, but cannot see it. The rest of the world sees it very clearly because it is so obvious but not the patient.

Their attitude is “I am the only one who is right and the rest of the world is wrong!” This is a problem for all concerned. People who are irrational will sometimes only admit to their problem when they are brought down to their knees figuratively speaking. It is a major catastrophe when they are brought down to their knees literally speaking, but this is sometimes necessary to let them see reason.  Being hard headed is a trait, being stubborn and obstinate is sometimes difficult but being irrational is a neurological problem that is diagnosable and treatable.  When somebody has an immature left- brain for logic and a well-developed right brain for hasty temperamental behaviour, as in ADHD, this combination is a real built in, inherited troublemaker and often a danger. Yet so few people even know this debilitating and challenging condition exists. This is why for irrational people, schooling, marriage, social, parenting and employment situations are so often disruptive and emotionally traumatic. They are their own worst enemy!"