Expert: Azure - 1/20/2008

Question
Hello, I have a question that seems obviouse, but please read everything.  I am dating this 65 yr old man he is married and says that he would never leave his wife because his kids would never forgive him and she has been through everything with him.  He loves his family.  I told him i understood and would never interfere with his family, i mean that. sincerely. He also  warned me if his wife finds out we end it.  He has paid for my massage school, tennis lessons and flat tire, accident, he always comes and for other things he gives me advice.  He has helped me live a clean life.  After he had surgery he said he had his family around him and that he thought of me that if one day he is gone or If i was in the same situation of his He didn't know what would become of me.   That i should fall in love with someone or make good friend.  Well he knows that i don't have friends nor family.  He says that he doesn't want to stop me from having my own life but we will always be friends or more if i liked.  At the same time he tells me to date, but not to sleep around.  One day his wife found out when I called that a girl had called him so he bought another phone to call me from and for me to call him.  I know it sounds bad but i honestly don't have anyone anyone to confide on just him.  He incourages me to study dress nice, save money, all advices that know one has given me.   I love him, please tell him your input....Oh and sexually i have never had sex with out driking with anyone but him. also orgasms never asaide from him.

Answer
imput: not sure what your question is; essentially, you are a "kept woman"--the barter is you give him sex, he provides financial, advisory consideration...this is all carried out deceitfully,  behind his wife's back; this is barely a step above prostitution, only with dishonesty; it's a co-dependent "usage" of each other; the advice: why have you made your existence dependent on this guy?..we both know this is an addictive, unhealthy, morally wrong arrangement; begin the work of getting out, developing a life, meeting/dating available, unattached guys--get counseling if necessary to help you; if you don't feel you deserve more than this, find out why...