Expert: Rhapsody Love - 10/30/2008

Question
Well I started becoming friends with this guy from my church, getting to know him he is not like other guys that have crossed my path or tried dating me for that matter...You see he and I work in the same ministry at church and one thing that caught me that stood out the most was his heart for people, you know he's great looking to but when I see him and talk to him he just makes you want to be a better person!! You know he's not perfect but everything that I wrote down of the type of Godly man I want I see in him, I have noticed being around him a lot now because of ministry and all he wants things in life, he wants things in life. He's a go getter for sure! So a part of me believes he knows and still continues to talk and help me but a part of me is like "how can I get his attention.  You see he is so oblivious when girls are flirting with him or even interested in him.  So without going over board how can I show him.  You see about a month ago I got this whole new hair style, clothing, heels and the whole nine and not one notice....but everyone and I mean everyone at church noticed all but the one person I wanted to...than again, I don't know that I just didn't get a compliment he doesn't seem like he does that to women...Last week one of the girl staff memebers told me "Juanita did you see the way he looked at you when you were talking?, it was so cute!!" No one knows the way I feel about him, except my mother but you see if anything he makes me want to be a better person, he wears his heart on his sleeve for people, he truly cares for his family, he loves his sister and brother, he truly is a catch...so any thoughts??? How to approach this?

Answer
Hi Juanita,

You're assuming he's straight. Is there any evidence of that? Even religious people can be gay.

Assuming you're right that he's straight, why don't you invite him over to dinner at your house or somewhere you can have a private conversation and you can let him know how you feel about him (indirectly or directly depending on how it feels right). If dinner doesn't seem the right way, you need to try some other way to be with him privately to share more personally. To get to know each other better in a more intimate way. The more you know him, the easier it will be to bring up personal things.

I hope this works.

Good luck!

- Joyce