Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 2/29/2008

Question
Susan,i really need your help.
I've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly two months.The first month was a whirlwind and we fell for eachother deeply spending every day together,and missing eachother so much when we were apart.
He lives 140miles away and so when i see him,i stay with him which i did for 6weeks constant without ever really going home.I am used to this because i was with my last boyfriend for 6years but my new boyfriend has never had a girlfriend,or introduced anybody to his family,had a girl to stay for long periods of time etc. However i have met his mum and gone for meals with them as a family.I felt like he was opening up to me so much.
He did explain to me that he never shows emotion or expresses his feelings because he's never had to.He also said that he cant communicate feelings through txt messages as he is basic in what he has to say.I knew all this but i felt like he was changing and opening up.
However,we had a huge argument over money because i could not afford to go visit him,and was too proud to tell him this was the reason.We shouted at eachother over the phone and i told him i didnt want to be with him in the heat of the moment.The next day i rang him and apologized and said i never meant any of it.He told me id hurt him a lot.

I just dont know what to do.This happened a week ago,and since then i have txted him saying i care for him and im in love with him and took him for granted..he replied saying he misses me and he thinks im beautiful.That what happened has made him angry but he's never felt this way before.After this i thought we were fine but he wont answer my calls,he txted me the next day saying he wants to give it another go but isnt sure whether it will work.Then he asked me if i wanted to go stay with him.Still he can't talk to me on the phone and when last rang he txted me saying "i want to txt you"...i dont understand what he is thinking.I've asked him where we stand but there has been no reply.I've told him i care and want to be with him and still nothing.He just asks how i am,avoids what i say to him or anything to do with how i feel,and there has been no more mention of me going to see him.Im burned out txting msgs to show i care.I hate communicating through txt messages but the last message i sent said that i am here for him when he has had time to think whether as a friend or anything else,and that i care for him.

I just want to know,are we over for good?and is him txting just his attempt at trying to make me a friend?I dont know how to act..i can give him space if i know where we stand?whether he still wants to be with me.I cant believe how we got to this from being so crazy about eachother with one silly argument?

Answer
It sounds like he isn't ready for a relationship.  Also there's a proverb - what begins wild, ends poorly.  A slower progression in a relationship works better.

Best policy, let it go and see if he comes back to you - on different terms.  

All the best,
Susan