Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 2/27/2008

Question
Hi,

I like this guy at school, we get along great, have a lot in common, similar interests in music, art, movies etc, and we're very compatible. We're both 25 years old and are very mature, most of the other kids at our school are 18, 19 etc. We're perfect for each other and while he is with me he is laughing and smiling constantly.

He has had a girlfriend for about a year, she is 1,000 miles away and comes and flies overseas to see him every few months or so.

It is obvious we like each other, but I don't want to start any drama or be known as a man-stealer. I really do want him badly though and it's pretty obvious he likes me back.

I have seen him giving me that look. His intensity scares me. But he has not done anything inappropriate. He hasn't hit on or flirted with any girls at school.

Should I just wait and see how things play out? From what I know, long-distance relationships are very difficult and few couples make it. And from what I see with this guy, I don't think he's in a rush to settle down because he wants to get his education, finances, and career settled first.

Oh yeah, one more thing - I am a virgin. He isn't.

thanks.

Answer
That's a nice-sounding guy, to want to get his education, finances and career settled first.  You are correct that long-distance romances usually don't work out.  Generally this is because they exist for the wrong reason.  Yes, just wait and see how it plays out.  Just keep being friendly, relaxed, and keep it light. Short and sweet.  If and when he gets interested, he will make his move.  If he isn't interested in dating you, there isn't anything you can do, so just relax and enjoy.  

All the best,
Susan