Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 4/22/2008

Question
Hello,

I've noticed something. I've seen that very very sexy men, such as those guys that are typically 'players' or 'womanizers' have tons of experience with women. They are incredibly intelligent and are extremely clever and cunning as to how to deal with the ladies, and tell women exactly what they want to hear so that girls fall madly in love with them. These men are always high profile and high powered. They are doctors, lawyers, CEOs, actors, famous musicians, etc. Since they are so incredibly good looking and so suave and smooth, they go to a bar and get laid every single night. Or at least they come back with tons of numbers of willing women. So they bed tons of amazing hot sexy girls.

But I have noticed something. When they go for a serious relationship, the women they date tend to be very plain. They are boring, naive, too happy and trusting, not too bright, very average, not terribly career oriented, content with being a 'housewife' type, not making much money, and not having a whole lot to offer.

It seems strange to me that these men, who can get ANY gorgeous, intelligent, amazing woman they desire, end up settling down with Plain Jane.

Why is that?

Also...the other thing is...when they marry the 'Plain Jane' they always keep on cheating on her for the rest of their life with the hot, sexy girls from before. They never stop. They always have several women to bang on the side.

I dont understand it. If Plain Jane does not satisfy them sexually and bores them emotionally/intellectually, then why do they bother marrying these girls? why didn't they go for the amazing hot smart fun girl they could have easily had? is it because she is too smart and will have figured him out?

Why is that? Can you explain this phenomenon?

thank you :)

Answer
There are some men who do this.  Why is a long question, but you can see it isn't a very successful way to run your life.  One reason men choose the woman they do, is because somehow she has made herself seem special to him.  Why they cheat, is just that some men do.  But some men don't.  One theory is that some men separate women into two groups - the madonna/whore complex.  Not Madonna the singer, but Madonna of religion.  They somehow are confused about the role or place of sex in a relationship.  

Just stick with the ones who know how to do it right!  There are men who do not do this.  COncentrate on them.

All the best,
Susan