Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 4/7/2008

Question
QUESTION: I really like this guy and I know our time together is short (we leave for different colleges in August). I've liked him since 9th
grade. He hasn't had a girlfriend ever. He's such a great guy and makes my day, every day. A couple of months ago, we started
to get close again. We text all the time and talk on facebook. He gives me huge hugs in the hall and always smiles when he sees
me. This all seemed so perfect at first. He invited me over to his house over spring break, and we ended up cuddling and kissing
for 4 hours.

While we were cuddling though, i noticed that he kept getting texts from other girls (at least 3 different girls). It didnt really
bother me, but it did get my attention. When i thought about it more, i realized that there are other girls that he hugs and talks
to a lot in school but i've never heard anything about them hanging out outside of school.

How can i tell if i any different from all the other girls? And is there any way I can get him really interested in me?

ANSWER: Dear Alicia,
I'd give you a big "uh oh" on this one.  You say he has never had a girl friend ... and the txt msg and all, he does with at least 3 other girls besides you.  (I'm sorry you found out that way, and at such a time ... on the other hand, it's best to have this information).  The way you would tell you were different from the other girls, is if he treated you differently ... which is doesn't appear that he is doing.  There is no way you can get him really interested in you, as in dating, unless he is, and then he will make his move.  Wait and see if he will ask you out on a date, and behave differently.  I hope he does.  However, men are more compartmentalized about things, and the fact that you are leaving for college may make a difference in how he is shaping his life right now.

All the best,
Susan
www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So, the good news is, he asked me to prom!!!
The bad news... I'm not the only one. He's going to a different school's prom
with another girl as well. yikes!
Of course, I said yes to him and he was open about the other prom. He was
very concerned at how I would take the news. I played it cool and acted like it
was no big deal at all.
He has started to really act like an almost boyfriend. We talk on the phone for
1-3 hours every night before bed. He walks me to classes and to my car every
day and has proposed several dates for dress and tux shopping. I feel like
things are starting to come together.

He has asked me to come over his house several times this weekend and i've
always denied and said I've had plans. Of course, being a typical teenage boy,
he asks as soon as he wants me to come over. That's the part that kinda bugs
me. Have I been doing the right thing by playing hard to get?

Answer
Yes, it's a way of demanding respect.  You will get treated about the way you expect to be treated.  Continue to be the special girl that you are, and expect him to date you, not just call you at the last minute to come over and hang out.

All the best,
Susan