Expert: Erica - 4/7/2008

Question
Hi, I am engaged for 3 months with the man of my dreams. I love him alot and he loves me too. The problem though, in our relationship is he's a complete workaholic, totally engrossed in his job. He does call me a couple of times, but its more like for the sake of it. He loves me, but I guess Im second priority after his job.We meet just once a week, but we hardly have any romantic gestures, not even a proper kiss. He kinda wants to maintain the respect with my dad and all that. Its been very distressing for me. He use to be different before, now I hardly get the attention. Its very painful.Its not that he does it on purpose, he just doesnt realize it. I want to attract him to me in some way. Please help me.

Answer
Hi Arafa,
I want you to know from personal experience that this is NEVER going to change even after you get married.  You need to ask yourself a very important question..... Are you going to be happy under these conditions??  The best way to grab a man's attention is to have a FABULOUS life of your own.  When we are less predictable they lose their minds... they can't handle it... They want to know that our lives revolve around them and it is such a surprise when they realize that our wonderful lives don't.  So, I would make myself a little scarce, spend some time with some great friends, find some new interests, take up a new hobby, whatever it is that you have always wanted to do and something you can do alone or meet new people.  When we are interesting to ourselves we become 1000x's more interesting to our partner.  However, and this is a big however, do you want to feel that alone in a relationship?  This is a huge red flag that you can answer before you marry him.  I hope this helps and Good Luck....  Warmest Wishes, Erica