Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 6/1/2008

Question
Hi,

I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his phone number, suggesting we get together for lunch, picking the place, where to go, what to do, and when and how to take it to the next level.

I don't mind doing this from time to time, and I like giving men quite a few chances.

However, as of late, it seems like many men don't know how to move things forward.

I don't mind doing this at all for men in their 20s.

But this situation is occuring even in men in their 30s and 40s! It's almost like I have to hold their hands and baby them and change their diapers.

Even after we get into a relaitonship, it seems like they don't know what to do.

And they seem very immature sexually.

ON the flip side, there are many men who DO know how to move things forward, and ARE mature enough to move things forward both relatoinship wise and sexually as well.

So no not all men are like one way or the other, there are individual cases.

I am just noticing that a HUGE proprotion of "older, experienced" men don't know what to do.

You would think that by this late age, with all the decades of dating they've done, they would know how to move things forward. But they don't. And can't.

Answer
Dear Carrie,

I do a lot of dating coaching with men in theirs 40s, 50s, 60s and on.  Lots of women too, of course, but yes, there are men who need coaching.  It's good to get dating coaching WITHOUT A DOUBT.  It can be considered an investment in probably the most important things in life.  

Yes, I help "older, experienced" men learn the ropes, or re-learn.  It is v. difficult to get back into dating after being married, whether one is divorced or widowed (widowered).  The dating scene today is quite complex for both sexes.  I've talked to hundreds, maybe 1000s of adults who are dating, and am able to greatly cut down the learning curve for adults who are dating.

So if you find someone befuddled by it all, help us all out and send them to me for coaching.

In fact, it's because of the DEMAND, that I branched out to include men.   

All the best,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc/