How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/The Girl who's wanted

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Expert: - 6/17/2008


Question
Hello!

My name is Kristi and I am 20 years old.  I turn 21 at the end of the year.  I have moved into a neighborhood and there are a lot of single guys my age that attend the same church I do.  I'm new and so I know that many guys will be interested in getting to know me, however, I want to be the girl that every guy wants to date.  I'm wanting to date many people instead of settling into a relationship right now.  In the past, I've been very flirty with any guy, but I think that scared some away.  I want guys to meet me, and then after I leave they think "wow, I want to get to know her better"
What can I do to become the "girl that everyone wants to date"?
Thank you for your time in reading and responding to this.

Kristi

Answer
Hello Kristi!

First of all, I'm not sure you have the right goals in mind. What you're asking for is to be the most popular girl at church. Ok, fine. Achieving that isn't tough - just dress like a slut, flirt with everyone you see, bang a bunch of guys and you'll make it. If this is what your ego needs to feel worthy, then, you're all set and you don't need to read any further.

However, isn't a better goal to find the right guys to date instead?

Kristi, I'm actually pretty concerned with your need to be so popular. That expresses a deep-seated emotional problem. What you're looking for is guys that will make you feel good about yourself and frankly, you should already feel good about yourself BEFORE you start dating anyone! If you don't feel this way, guys are simply going to take advantage of your neediness and you're going to wind up alone and bitter.

Once your self-esteem is health however, you'll instantly have other healthy people wanting to meet you. On the flip side, being insecure, needing to be popular, etc., is only going to attract guys that are equally unhealthy.

I hope you make the right choices here for yourself. Wanting to be the girl that everyone wants to date is pretty fucked up and just shows a very misdirected psyche.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
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http://beingaman.com
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How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along! After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.

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