AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 20,000 letters from readers, have written 600 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world.
Experience I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along!
After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.
Organizations Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.
Publications Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.
I like this guy, he is one of those really hot guys that eveyr girl likes and he knows it and he seems stuck up and conceited about it. he knows all the women want him. he definitely knows he's hot stuff. but all the times i have talked to him he seems nice.
so today i saw him and saw that his beard had grown...i pointed and said "you have a beard!" and he said "yeah i have had a lot of exams so i haven't been shaving, thats why i look like this" and i playfully punched him and murmured in his ear "you always look good" in that tone, if ya know what i mean.
he just said "oooooooooooook"
hmmm. ok does that mean i shouldn't have complimented him at all?
don't bother with him, it's a lost cause?
Answer Hello "AB"!
I wouldn't say you shouldn't bother with him, but your comment definitely caught him off guard.
This is something I tell my students all the time: You have to pick your targets carefully. Many men will see any girl and just walk up to her and give her some dumb line like, "You really look hot in those torn sweats!" Obvious, she doesn't feel hot and she knows it's a line.
This guy obviously didn't feel hot so you walked up and complimented him when he obviously wasn't in a vein to be complimented. Frankly, that was pretty dumb - you didn't listen to him! He told you he wasn't trying to make a statement with his beard and that he just didn't have the time to shave, so what do you do? You compliment his looks!
He didn't take it as a compliment at all, but that doesn't mean you don't have a chance with him. The difference now however is that you're going to have to work a little harder since he probably thinks you were making fun of him.
I suggest you just go ask him out to celebrate being over with finals or something. Don't talk about his looks - especially if he's attractive! This is another mistake that guys make all the time (you're not a guy are you?) He had little to do with his looks - he got those from his parents. If you have to compliment him, do it on something he's DONE or SAID rather than something he had nothing to do with. Even better, just avoid the compliments until he knows you're sincere about them - when you're actually dating him.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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