AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 20,000 letters from readers, have written 600 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world.
Experience I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along!
After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.
Organizations Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.
Publications Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.
There is a guy at our graduate school who is absolutely gorgeous. He is the "big man on campus" and he looks like a supermodel. Absolutely gorgeous, amazing face, amazing killer body, total killer sex appeal. A total 10, the kind of guy that makes women swoon.
He has had a million girls and is VERY experienced with women sexually. Also, he's really smart and studies really hard. Plus, you would expect that he would be stuck up and snooty, but not at all. He is very sweet and kind and friendly to everyone.
So he's the total package. Women are crazy about wanting to sleep with men.
LOL honestly I think some of the straight men at our school want a night with him. I heard some of my guy friends joking around that maybe his hotness might rub off on them and they'd attract women too. HA HA HAAAAH!!!
So anyway I saw all his ex girlfriends and they were all really hot, sexy girls, playboy bunny types...but also very smart, successful women, doctors, lawyers, comedians, etc...so not just dumb good looking bimbos. The women he dated were the total package as well, smart and pretty.
And it makes sense, as this guy can afford to be very picky and choosy. He has tons of women hitting on him daily.
He has been eyeing me and flirting with me for quite a while too :)
Well anyway, so he has been dating his last girlfriend for quite some time now...they are going long distance while he finishes up school for another year...I wonder if they'll survive the distance? so everyone was expecting some hot, successful chick. So she flew here to visit him.
To everyones surprise...the girl is hideously ugly. Short, skinny as a skeleton, bones sticking out, freckles and moles everywhere, terrible skin, horrible hair that looks like she never brushes it. I think she is about 19 years old.
It just seems strange that the man with all the options in the world...would choose her...and then go long distance with her. He seemed very bored with her. The facebook pictures of them together, she is smiling but he NEVER smiles. in a single pic of them together.
and mind you - his facebook? has photos of him with all the hot dallas cowboys cheerleaders and NBA dancers every where.
if he has a girlfriend...why does he have all these chicks in bikinis every where.
he has more pictures of half nude girls everywhere on his facebook and myspace...than he does of her.
oh yeah! and his myspace says that he is "single"
yet they've been going out for more than a year...hmm...
Also...she looks like she is 12 years old. If you saw her, you would think she was a fifth grader. And he is 28. (I am 28 also) So it looks very awkward when they're together...he looks like a child molester.
Anyway, lately he's been realy eyeing me constantly...and it's obvious that he finds me really hot...and likes my personality...because I'm very confident of my sexuality.
This guy is really sexual...or has been in the past... and he knows that I masturbate and watch porn. We also like the same rock bands and music and books and movies...so we have a lot in common...things him and his very young girlfriend don't have. He's been giving me the "wow...you're the girl of my dreams" look quite a few times. YOu know. The bedroom eyes.
Well I don't know. I think we're both almost 30, we're both getting doctorates, so we're kind of in the same place in our lives maybe and we have a lot in common. Perhaps more in common than he would with a girl this young? I don't know.
He knows I'm a serious reltaoinship kinda gal and not one who just fuck him one night and leave him. I NEVER dress or act slutty or go around hitting on men. I'm always covered up, the girls at school are walking around in little shorts and tank tops, but i'm always covered up. He knows I'm a keeper, the girl you bring home to your parents. But he also knows about my porn collection and masturbating (lol...oops) and I'm NOT afraid of my sexuality AT ALL. I'm very confident with it.
So he knows I'm lady on the street...but a FREAK in the bed ;-)
Every time he looks at me he gives me a very passionate gaze. God it's hard. I want him so bad it hurts.
But he has a long distance girlfriend. *sigh*
Dennis should I move on and forget him?
And if so, how do I forget him. I want him sooooooo bad. but there is no point breaking them up if they love each other. but come on, he is going to be here for another year. i wonder how many times she can keep flying to see him like this. aaarrrggghhh...i wish i liked someone else who didnt have a long distance girlfriend...this is so hard :(
Answer Hello Kate!
Didn't I answer this exactly question for you before??? If you're hoping my answer will change, you're going to be disappointed.
First of all, I'm very, very proud of you coming to grips with your own sexuality. Frankly, it's pretty rare, but there's nothing so important to who you are as a person as your sexuality. It drives everything else you do and are. The stronger it becomes - and the more comfortable you are with it, the stronger you become as a person. You've done very well here.
Now, let me ask you a question. Who are you to decide for this guy what he should have and what he shouldn't? You don't care for his LDR or child-like girlfriend, but that's not your decision to make.
Now, I'm sure you think I'm going a different direction here, but consider this: it's not your job to decide he shouldn't have you either.
There are some things to consider here. First of all, are you thinking that you can have an LDR with him after school? If not, then how are you going to reconcile the distance? Let's say that you and he were to put something together, would it only be for the year and then you'd have to move on? Could this only be a 1-year sexual fling?
Kate, I'm not against these sorts of trysts at all. In fact, you can't decide for him what's going to happen in his life - that's his job. All you can do is decide for yourself and your life. I don't moralize about these things as they're just too many factors involved. Maybe he's really in love with this girlfriend and you don't stand a chance anyway, or maybe he's just waiting for a good excuse to move on - away from her.
The fact is, you just don't know.
You can't plan his future for him and if you want something here and can bring him far more than he has now (and yes, even if it's just your opinion), why not see what chances you have? You'll never know unless you give it a try. Maybe you become the very first girl that he falls in love with. Who would ever deny him that?
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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