Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/30/2008

Question
There's this guy at work (I'm 18, he's 21) that I like very much. The only problem is that he's extremely shy and barely talks to anyone, especially girls, which is weird because he's also extremely attractive.
People tell me he may like me too as he talks to me sometimes and sits next to me at parties (we've been to two so far). He offered me a drive (and offered no one else), asked a friend for my number so he could ask me if I was going to a certain party, etc. At work however, he barely talks to me and it's very intimidating. Sometimes he doesn't even say hi! (he treats everyone that way at work) I'm not a shy person, but I find that I'm totally shy and self conscious around him. Now I feel like wherever I am, he is and I'm worried he thinks I'm following him :(
What can I do to grab his attention? I'm worried because he may think I'm too young for him. He just seems like a kind, caring guy if he were to open up a bit. How can I get him to open up? What can I do/say so I don't seem stalkerish?

Answer
Hello Claire!

"Stalkerish"??? Trust me, you're not going to look like a stalker, but you'd better do something or absolutely nothing is going to happen between you.

He obviously doesn't know how to approach you, so you're going to have to help him. Why not suggest that you and he meet up for coffee after work one day? He's shy (and you don't know why he's that way), but he's obviously not going to move things along either.

Don't worry about the age difference - it's a non-issue. DO worry about getting things moving however! Time is not your ally here.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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