AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 20,000 letters from readers, have written 600 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world.
Experience I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along!
After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.
Organizations Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.
Publications Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.
Question 22f, single all my life, 200 pds. I had a brain tumour removed and have poor social skills. I want to win over a guy who is out my league, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually, socially and financially... He initiated contact by holding hands and cuddling but I think he's settled with me out of desparation. I'm hoping that overtime his interest in me will grow, and that he will learn to love me, but I'm worried that he will always see me as a friend with benefits (minus the sex as I'm a christian). How do I go from a "friend" that he cuddles with to a "girlfriend" that he loves? I've lost 30 pounds in the last 2 months and plan on losing another 90. If you have books you would like to recommend, I'll be glad to read them, as the answer to my question could be 200+ pages.
Answer Hello Xiao!
First of all, congratulations on losing the weight and getting to work on yourself and your skills. You're making some big changes in your life here and I'm very proud of you.
Now, stop telling yourself that he's out of your league. You don't have the right to tell him who he does and doesn't like. You have only those rights for yourself.
I'm very sorry you're THAT kind of Christian however. What you're doing is neglecting your own skills here and cutting off one of the most important elements of any relationship - sex.
Xiao, the reality is this: any healthy relationship also has a healthy sex life. If you knew what the source of your own beliefs were, you'd never choose celebacy - trust me. If you've decided that's still just not for you, then you're going to have to decide that all you want is friendships. Frankly, I don't know of many men that would accept a sexless relationship. If you find him, good luck.
I suggest that you expand your horizons and open your mind here. You're already doing some very important work on yourself and using your faith as a barrier to your success is hugely counter-productive. Faith should empower you to grow - not be the source of your limitations.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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