Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 8/25/2008

Question
Hi,
I'm a 29 year old female and etxtremely lonely. Being single is starting to depress me. I do get hit on by men but the problem is the men that show interest in me i'm hardly ever interested in. The only people that i genuinle want to be in a relationship are either one of my 2 exes lol..they are the only two people that i could see myself with.

I guess my question here is how do i work on attracting a man of my dreams and how do i move on from my exes?

Answer
Dear Chep,

This isn't an easy or quick thing to do.  No one's going to appeal to you, I don't think, until you are able to loosen the emotional ties with the exes.  It will just show - and you can feel it - that you aren't really interested in other guys.

You can work on some things like concentrating on the negatives about them and why it didn't work.  Wanting to move on and find a good relationship for you and blessing those two relationships and sending them on their way.

It would be a good idea if you could get some dating coaching from me, as this will take a while.  It's easy for me to say you need to let th exes go, but if you knew how to do that you would have done it by now.  It's keeping you stuck.  Maybe that's where you want to be right now ... while you work it all out, but it's a waste of your precious time, and there are things we can do to move this along.  Until you release that stuff emotionally, how can any guy be attractive to you?

It does take time, and also having the attitude that you are willing to bless it and let it go.  Things work out for the best.  Maybe one of these mornings you will wake up and be a little closer to wanting to move on.  And then again the next morning.  

Let me know how it goes.  Recognizing the way you are feeling is the first step.  If you aren't ready to move on, you aren't, and you will neither be attractive to other men, or able to attract them.  First comes the release.  Then you'll be ready to go again, and it will show.

Women generally wait too long, and I'd love to nudge you along.  email me at sdunn@susandun.cc for coaching.

Sincerely,
Susan Dunn
THE DATING COACH BLOG:  http://datingcoachblog.blogspot.com