Expert: Azure - 9/8/2008

Question
Hello, Dr,
PLEASE HELP!
I have dating my BF for a year, he was the perfect boyfriend, sweet , attentive, kind, generouse,I have absoulutely no complain. the only thing ( might be a big thing) is we have very differenct personlity and outlook in life. I am very social (not bar hopping social, I don't drink or smoke),just love see new things and meet friends and go with the flow. He is the stay home boddie, only has 1-2 friend who he hang out with every 2 month, most of time he just stay home watching businese news making businese plan or Sifi tv show.
I stay with him most of time, only go out with my friend once every week. Last week , out of blue, he just broke up with me over going out with my girlfriend on sat. night.
and then he wrote this long e-mail about he wasn't happy for 6 monthes, we are too different, don't like the same thing. I don't have a focus in life( he likes someone have goal and ambition), I keep him on a short leash.I should just let him go to date other people that's better match for him.also he said it is easy to hate me because I am doing things that he wants to do but can't and don't want to ( he is a very handsome guy, look like hugh grant and graduate from Harvard...but get really  nervouse in social setting, doesn't know what to say, or find people boring)
But the night prior he broke up with me, he was so happy planning the trip to NY Oct and New year trip. and making a closet space/ my own bathroom for me at his home.

I try to get him back the past week,and agree on give him more space. He agree! but ask me how hard do I want to work on this relationship, there must be a easier case ( person) out there for me.

We went out on 2 dates since ( did make love), it was fun. but he is still cold and not effecitonate. he used to make me coffee in the morning before I woke up ( he wake up earlier than me). But didn't do that the 2 nights that I stay over.

WHAT SHOULD I DO at this point?! be petient? or should I just give up.feel like I am persuing him.do you think he is testing me? or he really just back off and stop loving me?

p.s.: I am 35yrs old, always have long term realationship.
he is 44yrs old, only has 2 realtionship longer than 1year in his life.
THANK YOU ! THANK YOU!
Sophia

Answer
it's over--in his opinion, you weren't good enough; chasing him, seeing him, having sex, hoping he'll reconsider, is the plan of insecurity, weakness, low self-esteem; consider this HIS loss, move on to finding someone who would be THRILLED to have around him, not someone where you have to work harder to convince you're worthy of their affection..