Expert: Lanay Stockstill - 1/24/2009

Question
I am an attractive, smart, 34 year old woman who has seen her share of dating. I rarely find the right fit, however recently I meet someone online and we have been dating for 1.5 weeks. Everything about him is incredible and I don't see any downsides to our relationship, except that he lives 30 minutes away. My goal is to marry and have kids. He says he wants that too. Things look great between us, but I know there needs to be some dating time between meeting and marriage, so I just don't know how fast is too fast. I need to know him longer before we start a life together as a couple, right?

Answer
It's a wonderful feeling to connect with someone so well.  Congratulations!  Of course, you want to dive right in, but try to enjoy getting to know him.  Its the little discoveries about a person that really engage you.  If you rush too quickly, you are cheating yourself and him.

One thing to remember is that in the beginning of a relationship each of you are on your best behavior.  Give it some time for you both to get comfortable and let the shields down.  Find out what bugs you about him.  Since you both want kids, do you agree on how to raise and discipline them?  How will you handle disagreements if you've not had one yet?  How does he fight?  Does he clam up or lash out?  

Also, if you push too fast, one or both of you may get a feeling of overwhelm due to the momentum.  Even if someone  wants the same things and has the best of intentions, he/she can still get scared with too much momentum.  Taking it one step at a time can help prevent that.  

There really isn't a time limit to set.  Intimacy takes time to develop. It's about give and take on both parts.  Let that happen.

I hope this helps,

Lanay
www.datingmadeeasyforwomen.com