Expert: L.E. Coleman - 1/19/2009

Question
Hello L.E Coleman,

So I met this guy who I think is very attractive at my friends party. I've seen him around at the gym before but never talked to him until that occasion. He is really good friends with my best friend. That night, I felt that we had chemistry and that he was interested in getting to know me, but by the end of the night, we said our goodbyes and that was it. 2 weeks later I get a text from him, soon to find out my friend had given him my phone number. So yeah, we exchange texts for 2 weeks and going, and I have already insinuated that if he were to ask me out I'd say yes. He once in a while refers to wanting to be my date  and hanging but there is no official set time or place. I'm not a big texter, so i feel its kind of dumb that he does not call. Basically he texts me sporadically and I'm getting annoyed. I don't know what he is thinking. My best  friend told me he doesn't talk to alot of girls and that I should be flattered that he makes an "effort" to be noticed in my life and that I should be patient because he just bought a house too recently, and he's focused on that also. Another tid bit is that he just got out of a 3 year relationship in October of last year. What do you think I should do? Should I let it be clear to him that I don't know what he wants by him just texting me? Do you think he has some interest at all in me romantically? Thank you so much for your help."


Answer
The truth of the matter is that you're never going to know what's on his mind if you don't ask him.  This is turn-off for some women because they believe it's the man's role or place to initiate the date.  This, of course, is a gross error in thinking. This man might not have a lot of experience with women.  If he just ended a 3 year relationship with someone, you already know one fundamental thing about him: he takes his relationships seriously.  Only one thing is for certain: you're not going to know anything by being silent or patient.  Patience really has nothing to do with it. Ask him what he wants and let your wants be known if you want to. Don't worry about running him off.  If he's afraid of you for some reason, you've done yourself a big favor.  You won't have to cut out other opportunities that may come your way and you won't have to worry about being in a relationship with someone who's not sure of what he wants.  Don't worry if he's the one or not.  If he is, noting will be able to prevent the relationship from evolving into something wonderful.