Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 1/21/2009

Question
Hi,

There was this guy I was interested in and he likes me back, I know he likes me because he told all of his friends. The thing is though, the guy has had sex with a lot of girls, he used to go to bars every night and pick up girls and fuck them and have a new girl every night of the week. He also had several girlfriends simultaneously and was known as a player. He is amazingly hot, he is 6 feet tall and has a huge, muscular body with tattoos. The quintessential bad boy. I'm the sweet, innocent nice girl who doesn't have too much experience with men.

It was very obvious that he liked me a lot. But he never asked me out.

I see him looking at me longingly a lot. Whenever I walk by him he gives me a huge smile. It's obvious he is hot for me.

His friends told me that he liked me a lot and he felt very passionately towards me, and he was still interested, but he was holding back from asking me out because he sees me as the "marrying kind" and the "type to settle down" and they said he was not ready for that yet. They said he saw me as much higher "above" all the other women.

Why do you think he didn't ask me out. He didn't want to hurt me?

Answer
Probably because of what his friends said, and I would listen to them.  If he is still in the player-mode, you don't want to have anything to do with him.  Don't fool yourself that you can change a man.  He can change his behavior, if he wants to, but you can't. At this point, it sounds like he is not emotionally available, and not interested in a real relationship with any woman. It is flattering that they said he said that about you, but that's all it is.  It does not mean he will take action, and unless he does, it's best that you just move on.  

It's not a good habit to get hooked on men who aren't interested - as in asking you out in an appropriate manner and dating you.

All the best,
Susan Dunn, M.A.
www.susandunn.cc
THE BLOG:  http://datingcoachblog.blogspot.com

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