Expert: L.E. Coleman - 1/21/2009

Question
QUESTION: And to be honest,none of this is even real.I am really 13 and I know what you are thinking."This is all a joke!" and you are probably insulted but the thing is that I worry about this happening in the future.And because I fear that it will happen in the future,I worry about now and try to fix everything now.I'm sorry and I know it sounds stupid.Can you ever forgive me?

ANSWER: No problem or need to forgive anything.  Enjoy your life and don't forget the advice.  Have a wonderful, wonderful day.

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QUESTION: Thank you evr so much!But do you also answer spiritual questions?

ANSWER: Yes, I do. But this is not the forum for those type of questions. I'll make an exception and answer only one.

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QUESTION: I was thinking today and it bothered me about my salvation because I am unsure about it.
I said the Sinner's Prayer.
I believe and confessed that Jesus is the Son of the only Living GOD and died for my sins.
I asked Jesus to forgive me.
I do believe that GOD and Jesus exist.
I did this three times.
I confessed all of it with my mouth.
But I did it because I didn't want to go to hell.
I was also baptized when I was younger.
I never really tried to develop a close relationship with Him though nor have I really wanted to but yet I know that He is trying to have one with me.
I used to try and read my Bible and go to church and I do pray to GOD every night.I wish that I had a heart to seek Him more but how do I get that kind of heart?
Am I not saved now?
Oh and in your opinion,do you think that Barack Obama is the antichrist or something?

Well when I confessed my beliefs,I meant it but I also did not want to go to hell.I truly do know and believe that Jesus died for my sins and that He rose again.I'm 13 by the way.I'm not confessing it just to be doing it.I got saved in 2002,2008,and 2009 but now I still feel like it is still not enough.If I am not saved then what's the point of living?I am desperately trying to do everything to get saved.And I am still not saved?I've did what it says in the BIBLE to be saved!I do believe what I am saying when I say it.I just feel like I don't get saved in order to seek GOD but all I know is that I do believe that Jesus died for my sins and that GOD raised Him back up from the dead.And I know that Jesus is still alive too!But the truth is that I confessed what I said in the sinner's prayer because I truly do believe that Jesus died for my sins and rose again and that He still lives and becaus eI didn't want to go to hell.So what is still wrong?

Someone just told me that if I had to ask if I am Saved then obviously I am not. I go to an Apostolic church but I am really Pentocostal.MY beliefs are that if you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour and ask Him for forgiveness from your sins then you are saved.But of course different denominations have different beliefs on what actually makes you saved so if I went to a non denominational church it might make me confused. So if you don't mind,I will ask my question again.- Well when I was about 8,I asked for God's forgiveness but at the time,I did it because I didn't want to go to hell.I didn't really love GOD because I didn't really know Him that well.So then like 2 years later,I got the Holy Ghost but then I felt that my church was trying to really push me into it so I just all of a sudden shut down.About a year ago or a couple of months ago,I just decided that I didn't want to go to church anymore.I go once in a while but not every Sunday and I feel that if I am just going to make people happy and just to be there then that's a vain reason to go.If you're not there for GOD then there's no point in goingI tried reading my Bible and I started from the first chapter and tried to read the whole book in order.Well that got boring and I didn't understand anything so I stopped that too.So now,the only thing that I will do is pray and majority of the time,it's to ask for things.I'm not really sure if I love GOD because I haven't really got to know Him nor hae I really tried anymore.I know I have really backslided in that area.Does this mean that I am not saved?Or at least anymore now?So now I am not saved?!?!?!?!?!?!?!Now I might as well kill myself.The thing is that I don't know if my heart was into when I was eight,at the time,I Was a little willing to get to know GOD better but now I am hearing this?What are you saying now.Now I am not saved?Yes I do believe that He is the son of GOD and that He died for our sins so that we can be forgiven.I asked Him for forgiveness.At the time,I didn't want to go to hell but at the time,I was young and I wanted to I guess know Him better.But after that,I just drifted off.But now I don't even know if I am saved.Does it sound like I am saved?If I didn't ove GOD when I got saved then does this mean that I am not saved?Do I need to get saved again? I know this is terribly off subject.But now I am in even worse trouble if I am not saved.I feel even worse.They told me that I have to accept Jesus as my master which is what I thought accepting Him as my Saviour meant.It make sme want to commit suicide even more than before.Maybe my life is just going down the drain.I mean,I have everything academically and school-wise going for me.But everything else is just terrible. I live with my mom and she is on welfare and medical cards but yet my dad is rich.I don't live with my dad.But I live with my mom in an apartment building that my dad owns,he owns a lot. I guess you could say that my mom is middle class because we aren't poor.My dad always gives us the money to pay our bills and buy food and all of that stuff. So does this mean that I am poor? There are days when my mom doesn't have money.But we don't starve or don't have clothes but there are some days that there is nothing to eat (which is rare)because I eat up everything and she doesn't have time to go to the store or my dad hasn't given her the money. I am stuggling with my sexuality.I'm not pretty.I have bad thoughts and can not seem to get my mind together.And now I might not be saved?Please respond!



I don't feel good.I'm not alright.This makes me want to do something drastic.Like suicide!I asked Him into my heart but at the time,it was because I didn't want to go to hell or anything.Am I not saved then?Do I need to get saved again or something?



Also I am wondering if I have blaspemed.Sometimes when I say the word gay or something similar,I suddenly look at a picture of Jesus even though I wasn't tlakign about Him.And sometimes I think about blaspemy.I also wonder if I have sold my soul.I sometimes think about selling it.And sometimes I say "If I don't do this then my soul is....."

I don't want to say the rest.I don't know if I have bet on my soul but yet I think that I have but I ask for forgiveness after it.I ask God to forgive me for it.But I don't want to sell my soul.Does this mean that I have?Please answer all of these questions!


Answer
I'll answer some of these questions but after you read them I want you to talk to somebody who you trust with your feelings, like your mom, school counselor, or crises line counselor at one of your neighborhood mental health centers--anyone who you feel will not judge you for feeling the way you do. You can find mental health crises centers in your yellow pages.  And if you're really suicidal, call 911 and tell them what you're planning or wanting to do. Doing this in spite of what you think others might think about you.  Now, on to your questions.

You are perhaps among millions of other young men and women who have been taught that you must accept Jesus or else you're going to hell.  But now you know what happens when you get save just to keep from going to hell?  You feel like crap because you didn't do it because you wanted to--you did it because you had to, or at least thought you had to. In other words, you did it because you were afraid?

Now, what would you think if somebody you didn't know tried to make or force you to love them?  Or better yet, what if some boy who you were not attract to wanted you to tell him that you loved him and you knew you didn't?  You would feel terrible if you told him you loved him because you know in your heart that you didn't feel that way about him.  It's the same way with God. God doesn't want you to love Him that way.  What would you think of a God who tries to force people into loving Him just because He's God. Or better yet, would you want to serve a God who doesn't want a real relationship with you but only needed you to bow down and worship Him just because?  The real Jesus, the real God doesn't force people into doing what He wants them to, nor does he threaten them with punishment because He knows the same thing you know:YOU CAN'T MAKE PEOPLE LOVE YOU BY THREATENING THEM OR MAKING THEM AFRAID.  Your church friends would probably get very upset with me for saying that--but it is true nonetheless.  And this is true also: YOU CAN'T MAKE, TRY or FORCE YOURSELF TO LOVE GOD OUT OF FEAR.

The Bible says, 'perfect love cast out fear"--so how can you love someone and be afraid of them at the same time? Also, how can you really love Jesus if you're afraid that he will punish you if you don't do what he says.  The Bible says it's the goodness of God that leads men to repentance.  The Bible does not say, "it's the fear of God that leads men toward repentance"-- because fear can't do anything but make you feel bad. And right now you feel bad because people are teaching you what was taught to them.  Don't get mad or try to convince others that they're wrong about their belief.  Their beliefs are their problems.  Instead, learn to accept what they have to say about religious stuff but you don't have to believe the way they do.  Right now, you are just as much a part of God as you'll ever be.  You don't feel like it because someone told you that your relationship with God must be THEIR WAY.  There is only one way--THE WAY OF LOVE.  You are an amazing girl for being only 13. Most girls your age don't want to face these difficult questions.  They know they probably feel the same way, but they are too afraid to be honest about their feelings about God, Jesus, salvation, and the Church.  They know that they got save because they were afraid, but they'll keep on living a lie because they don't want to upset anybody.  You, on the other hand, are very courageous.  You know why you got saved in the first place and now you want a real relationship with God based on love.  Just saying, " God I love you--God I want to know you--is good enough for now. You've done everything that people told you you had to do.  Now it's time to let God love you in a more wonderful way. Don't try to force it--just let it happen. He knew you would feel this way one day. And now, you've got your answer.  His love for you is unconditional because any love with strings attach is not really unconditional love--is it?  Of course not.

Now that I've said all that, it's time for you to make a decision about loving yourself unconditionally.  Love yourself enough to talk with live people who will help you through this time in your life.  Remember what I said about calling someone.

God Bless

L.E. Coleman