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About L.E. Coleman
Expertise
I can answer questions regarding the dynamics of the laws of attraction regarding attracting a soul mate"

Experience
I have worked in numerous social service and mental health agencies in the private and public sector for the past 25 years. I've worked directly with men and women under the supervision of various mental health and social services professional, i.e. psychologists, psychiatrist, nurses and addictions counselors. I've held numerous positions with the Indiana Family and Social Services in the area of public assistance and mental health. The broad training and experiences I received dealing face to face with individuals, families and their various problems has allowed me to merge the practical with the spiritual to help them come up with solutions for their specific problems. I have written books on this subject as well as books for non-custodial parents to help them deal with the dynamics of being a single parent. I am the author of "How to Avoid a Stupid Man: A Woman's Guide to Attracting Her Soul Mate which takes women on a exploration of self discovery in order that they might attract the right man.

Publications
I am the co-founder of Crowner-Coleman Publishing, a publisher of self-help and motivation books for men and women

Education/Credentials
I attended Ivy Tech Community College and Indiana/Purdue University at Indianapolis and I've have numerous credit hours in psychology, sociology, etc. I received Highest Honors for academinc exellence from Indiana/Purdue University at Indianapolis during the spring of 1998. I've also attended classes the School of Metaphysics.

Awards and Honors
Highest Honors for academinc excellence in 1998 from IUPUI USA Book News Best Book 2007 Award Finalist in the self-help/motivation catagory for the audiobook The Black Man's Little Book of Success Secrets

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams > this guy in my class

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams - this guy in my class


Expert: L.E. Coleman - 10/30/2009

Question
we got eachother's contacts. first facebook, he approached me more back then(but not like it was so often or anything). then i asked for his number and prob text him too much or w/e. i've asked him to hang out like 3 times already he've always said no. kind of fustrating. now i'm trying not to text him at all for at least 2 days.... but i'm worried that we're just never going to talk to eachother at all anymore. he doesn't text me first. so how do i get him to be more interested in me and ask me out??

Answer
Hi Angie.

There are no secrets to the 'law of attraction'. Likewise, there are no techniques,tricks or secrets that will make a person be interested in you more.  Think of it this way: if you could 'DO' anything to get the person to like you, show more interest in you, or ask you out, it will be only because you 'DID' something.  In other words, even if you did get this guy, he's not really going to be interested in you but only what you can do or 'DID' to get him.  Therefore, you are going to have to keep on 'DOING' something to please him and make him stay with you.

Have you ever heard this old expression?: 'THE SAME THING IT TOOK TO GET YOUR BABY HOOK IS THE SAME THING IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO KEEP HIM.' It's a cute little catchy phrase from an old song but it is true nonetheless. For example, a girl may sleep with a guy because she really, really likes him. This guy will hang around as long as she'll keep putting out. He'll tell her he loves her and they'll spend some wonderful moments together.  But if she ever stops doing something to please him, or perhaps, she gets pregnant--he'll drop her like a hot potato and her world will come crashing down because she thought he was in love with her. But it wasn't love at all.  True love is totally independent of what someone does for another.

When you ask how to get a person to show more interest in you there is an hidden assumption already hidden in the question you're asking.  That is to say, by asking 'how', you are already saying the guy does not find you interesting enough as you are. Can you see it?  This may be the case with this guy. By making you do all the work, he's telling you--no, showing you--that he's not interested enough to pursue a relationship with you.  This is his final answer whether he comes out and says it or toys with you by making you think that there could be something between the two of you in the future. Either way, it's a dead end.

Guys generally don't like girls to pursue them because it's in their nature to be the pursers.  I believe you are hurting yourself by pursuing a relationship with this guy.  Can you see it?  The harder you try to get something going with this guy the more resistance you get. The more you worry about him, the further he slips away.  This is because you want to force something to happen. Force always produces counter force, and this is what you're getting from him.  If you don't believe me, keep on trying to figure out a way to get him to show more interest and watch him slip further away.

Learn to relax, my dear friend.  When two people are really meant to be together nothing in this world can keep them apart.  Be yourself and know that any guy in his right mind would be happy to find a catch like you.  When you adopt this sort of thinking, love is not far away.

God bless, my sister.

L.E. Coleman

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