Expert: Lanay Stockstill - 11/17/2009

Question
So I'm working at a local owner-operated grocery store to put myself through college, and there's a customer I'm really interested in.  Problem is, I don't really know what to say, and if he shares my feelings.  We've only conversed a few times, and never for long, but all the conversations were initiated by him, and he also comes in every single time I work (if it's in the evening, he comes in in the evening, and if it's in the morning, he comes in the morning...so it's not like he comes at the same time every day).  This has been going on for months.  At first it was easy to make eye-contact with him, but now he avoids looking into my eyes (either because he's nervous or too busy staring at my boobs, I think).  How can I start a conversation with him given the limited time I have?  I'm pretty shy, so I don't really know what to do.  I thought about just handing him my number on a piece of paper as he was leaving, but I'm afraid that if he's not interested, continuing to work at my job will be rather uncomfortable, as he is a regular customer.  Help!  I don't know what to do...I'm pretty painfully shy and I'm pretty sure he is, too.  But this guy is absolutely GORGEOUS and very, very nice, and I'd certainly like to get to know him better.

Thanks for your help,
Alex

Answer
Hi Alex,

Sounds quite confusing getting all those mixed signals.  I understand your predicament not wanting to make things awkward for either of you.  

You might just start a conversation for a change and see how he responds.  Ask him what he's cooking or comment on the combination of foods he's getting.  Getting a good rapport going will make it easier for him or you to make a move.  

If you find it that difficult to initiate conversation, and you feel like giving him your number or asking him for coffee, do it.  It may be uncomfortable for a while but you'd know where you stand.  If he responds, great.  You'll get to know him and whether or not you two are compatible. If he doesn't respond, you can move your attention elsewhere.  

Sure, it would be uncomfortable if he doesn't respond, but it sounds a little uncomfortable not knowing what to do or how to act now.  At least you could put it behind you, and it would only be weird for a while, and you'd survive it :)

I hope this helps you make a decision,


Lanay