How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/meeting guys in night clubs.

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Expert: - 12/7/2009


Question
hi my name is grace, i,m 21 year old college student in nyc. I,m  outgoing and like to have fun but at thesame time im reserved and have alot of respect for myself. i love going to clubs and lounges with my friends and they all like to freak dance with any guy they dance with. i,m a little uncomfortable doing that. when i go to clubs i just want to dance and have fun. I mean actually dancing not grinding up on a guy i barely know puts me off. i find it disrespectful. Are most guys most likely to be interested in girls who freak dance or girls like me? Whats the best way to attract a decent guy in a club scene or lounge.

Answer
Hello Grace!

If you go to clubs where this is going on, you're going to find that "most guys" are more interested in the girls that act like everyone else. Grace, that's why they're there!

The reality is this: clubs are one of the worst places there are to meet great guys. Sure, there are great guys there, but how do you pick them out? How do you know if these are "decent guys" (your term) or not? Answer: you can't. You're in a totally artificial environment and situation. Even great guys are going to be part of the crowd because they aren't likely to have the same problems with what's going on that you do.

Don't go into an artificial environment that promotes artificial interactions between people and expect that you're going to find normalcy - you won't. Further, trying to be overly conservative in order to try to attract conservative guys isn't going to work in a place like this. You're just going to stand out as being separate and disengaged from the group. That's not particularly attractive to anyone.

Go to these clubs if you enjoy them, but use "real life" as your hunting grounds instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along! After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.

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