Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 2/28/2009

Question
I am interested in a man (Mike)who is a friend of a friend(Joe) on Facebook. The mutual friend (Joe)is from high school- we were just aquaintances. I saw Mike on Joe's friend list- and his profile was set so I can read it fully. I am interested in Mike- but he does not know me. What is the best approach to send a message to Mike- say I saw his profile, am interested- and add him as a friend- without seeming weird, desperate, creepy. How could I make myself seem appealing and attractive to him online in my profile? Should I work on that first before I attempt to add him on and send a message? Change my profile pic? I hate rejection and getting disappointed. Not sure If I send him a message first what to say?

Answer
I'm sure you've noticed the big jump in Facebook lately.  It's like it's reached critical mass, and everyone is on it now.  My lawyer is on it.  My physician.  My sister's DDS. People are contacting me with whom I went to college - people I haven't heard from in years.  Also all kinds of people I don't know at all, and they don't tell me how they knew me.  

I think it's great.  Invite me to be your friend!  I'm on facebook - Susan Dunn.  See how it goes??  (I'm sure you know this ... you've just one of those moments because of wanting something a lot.)

It is typical for someone to invite friend's of friend's to be their friend.  It has happened to me, and I think nothing of it.  

So ... first spend a little time getting your profile in top shape.  Get a great profile photo on there - appropriate, and nothing extreme.  Put other good photos of you as well.  Make sure your profile reads the way you want it to.  Go in daily and 'delete' any comments that aren't appropriate.  (Do this anyway.)  

One of my services, BTW, is helping people perfect their dating and favebook sites - whether for dating, business, or whatever.  Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc if you'd like coaching on this.  

Just before you contact Mike, put on your profile ... Melissa is adding new friends!

Then I would just send the friend invite first. There's nothing weird or creepy about that.  Everyone's doing it.

If he doesn't respond, write me back and we'll move to Plan B.

Good luck,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc
DATING COACH BLOG:  http://datingcoachblog.blogspot.com
Email me for personal coaching - sdunn@susandunn.cc