Expert: Lanay Stockstill - 2/9/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi,

I'm a female. I liked this gorgeous guy who is a bit of a player. He liked me back too but he didn't go for me.

He had experience with a lot of women and he was very clever and cunning. Sly as a fox with women.

I cracked a lot of jokes around him. Saying stuff like "oh I want to be a rock star, so that I can tour the world and have sex with tons of really hot girls. Cuz the chicks totally dig me man!"

He would just look at me very quietly, not saying a word, studying me with those cunning eyes. (Although he did look like he was trying really hard not to laugh.)

His friends said that he liked me a lot, and wanted to ask me out, but he thought I was too smart and serious for his game. So he moved on to easier party girls.

What do you think was the cause of all this? Why did he just decide to move on? Cuz most players would have at least tried to use me for sex.

thanks
Lindsay

ANSWER: Hi Lindsay,

There could be so many different reasons why this guy didn't make a play for you.  Most likely, he knows you see right through his game, and he respects that.  He probably goes for the party girls because it's easier.  You are someone that he has to take more seriously, and it may be he just isn't up for that challenge.  

It could also be he doesn't settle on people for very long.  He fancied you, but he fancies others as well.  That doesn't mean he liked you any less.  He definitely fits the player status either way.  

Hope this helps you understand his behavior better.  His deciding to move on has nothing to do with you.  It's more about what he can and can't handle.  Likely, he doesn't have a clue about what he wants, so he just repeats the pattern he knows which is with the party girls.  When people are unsure they usually go with what they know even if it isn't the best choice.

Take care,

Lanay



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Him and I are in our late twenties and will both be 30 in a few years. (He has been in serious long term love relationships with women before). Despite his player ways he does say he wants to marry if he finds the right one. Do you think in a year or two when he wants to be serious, he will regret not taking the chance with me?

Answer
Unfortunately there is no way to know for sure, but he obviously isn't at the point where he wants a serious relationship.  When he is, maybe he'll look you up.  The best thing you can do is to keep being your confident and funny self.  If he wants more, maybe you'll be around or maybe you'll attract someone even better.

Lanay