Expert: L.E. Coleman - 3/19/2009

Question
i have an experienced with a japanese man,he's 27 yrs old.ive known him for 3 months,at the philippine club here in japan.i felt inlove with him and i thought that he loves me too!march 19 2009,02:30 am in the morning he called me then we took,he ask me if im alone in my room,and i said yes,then he said,at first he thought that hes inlove with me,he cried...and he said sorry,i ask him why?he answered me,he want me to be his friend...i cried too!i dont know what to say to him,i hang up the phone...and i text him dont worry bout me...
MAAM,i want him back with me...tell me the right steps...thnks!

Answer
Hi Reimi.

I know you're hurting right now and there's nothing I can do to take away the pain you're feeling. I want you to understand this important truth: When you find your true soul mate, he will never tell you that he thought he loved you.  Also, a true soul mate will never tell you he only wants to be friends. When two people are meant to share their life together, both of them know it.  This man, although you feel very strongly for him, is not stable enough to be in your life right now.  He doesn't really know what he wants.  You and I both know that you want to be more than friends. The problem is 'he only wants to be friends.'  As hard as this is going to be for you, I think you need to step away.  However, you don't appear to be willing to do this right now because you want him back.  What possible advice can I give a person who wants to be in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship?  There are no steps to get him back because he has chosen only to be friends at this time.  If you try to get him back, in the long run, you'll simply push him farther away.  Take time out for yourself. You're hurting right now because your emotions are wrapped in him and you've been rejected.  When someone rejects us we think there's something wrong with us.  Rest assured, there's nothing wrong with you at all.  You sound like a very loving person who only wants to be loved in return.  The only problem--and it is a major problem--is he doesn't love you in the way you want him to.  Step back away from him and give yourself time to heal.  If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.  And if not, there's always a man out there who will love you unconditionally.  Don't worry about anything.  If you step away and begin to take care of yourself, the right man will show up and the two of you will have a happy life together.  The man who you want back is probably not the one for you.