Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 3/30/2009

Question
Dear Susan: I read your site all the time, I´ve always found it very interesting.
I knew this 31 year old guy through a site, chatted and dated once. He is a hard worker, good looking, honest, a little shy person. We dated once las January. For that time, We talked for 3 hours. He was nice and respectful, a gentleman. No physical contact at all. We both seemed really interested in each other. I left the country the following day, for the next 2 months. We kept in touch by email like every 5, sometimes 10 days. I returned one month ago.--Since then, we just talked on the chat for 15 minutes, and then we emailed several times last week, short comments. Of course I always wanted/expected for him to make some effort and call me. He never called, just wanted to chat a few times -and said he wanted to meet me soon, but we couldnt agree on the date and time. He is really busy, working all day and studying an MBA.
---But he seems to be talking w/ other girls too, at least on the chat. I can probe that---
Today, I said hi to him on the chat and didnt answered at all. I also texted him asking about our meeting (3 days ago he said we could meet today).
I am afraid of thinking of him too much time, and having so much ilussion. The second date w/ him is not coming. I want to know what I should do.
I hate all this mixed signals, and dont know how to avoid them. I perfectly know that we should talk and meet in person. I cant understand why men act like this, why they want to chat but not meet girls. Why they say something but dont act accordingly.

Thank you for your help. Pls tell me what to do...
how much time can I wait for him and then leave him completely.

I am 35, good looking, a lawyer, more social than him.

Dolores


Answer
Why they behave this way ... it's more important to see it when it happens, and to act accordingly.  The reasons are complex.  But for some reason he is reluctant to meet with you in person.  Just let it be.  If he were really interested, he would be making it happen.  Find one that does not give mixed signals!

All the best,
Susan Dunn