Expert: Rhapsody Love - 4/5/2009

Question
well there is a guy that goes to my school that every girl likes and ironically I like him too. I've known him for three years and have never talked to him (unless you count asking him for a pencil and returning it asap). I catch him looking at me occasionally and I'm like is he looking at me? I'll look around and nobody else would be around. But sometimes I wonder if its my immagination? I don't know. And I've never talked to him but would like to I did have classes with him but don't any more how can I attract him without having it feel akward since we had classes in the past and I never took advantage of the opportunity. I'm getting to the point where I can't stop thinking about it and want to get answers, I can't even sleep! I know what you are going to say he's just a guy but I really really like him. I just want to know what I can do to make the situation less akward. THANK YOU SO MUCH I'M SORRY THIS WAS LONG AND I APPRECHIATE YOUR TIME!

Answer
"I know what you are going to say he's just a guy" - you are guilty of assumption (everyone is sometimes, so don't worry about it). "I'M SORRY THIS WAS LONG AND I APPRECIATE YOUR TIME" - this is evidence that you're a caring, conscientious person (your note was really not that long in comparison to some). It is important to know yourself when you're looking for a mate and these are hints about your character.

I think you are underestimating yourself. Why are you not worthy of a popular guy? He's probably popular for some good reasons (besides good looks) - it could be something with his character and personality. He could be interested in you, why not? You are a caring person (you returned that pencil asap & he may have noticed other things about you, too).

Find a place and way to talk to him. Just talk to him casually about something you have in common (classes you've taken, music you both like, teachers you don't like, places you both go, etc.). Make friends with him. You could also invite him to go somewhere or do something with you that you would be doing any way - to a place to eat or a movie or concert, etc. He may not be interested, so try not to be disappointed if it doesn't work out.

Here's an example from my life: Once I was nuts about a guy and a lot of other girls were, too. I was able to make friends with him, but not able to get any further than that. He seemed to like some other girls better than me, but he never had one steady, serious girlfriend. At our class reunion 10 years after graduation, I found out he was gay. He didn't know that himself in school.

I did find the love of my life in school, though - it was someone who had many friends but a lot of girls weren't crazy about him - he was someone with characteristics that I decided were ideal as a match for me (ambitious, interesting, intelligent). What are the characteristics that would be a good match for you?

It's a time to get to know yourself and make friends and maybe he or some other friend will turn out to be more than just a friend in time. Good luck!

- Joyce