Expert: Lanay Stockstill - 4/25/2009

Question
Dear Lanay,

I met this amazing guy that I'm incredibly attracted to!  He's a freshman in
college and Im a sophomore. He's gorgeous, charming, and easy to talk to.
Every time he sees me, he seems so interested! My friends agree, he goes out
of his way to talk to me and zones in on me, and only me, when we see each
other at parties. He smiles, looks me straight in the eye, and touches my arm
when we talk. I've given him my number and we both agree we'd love to hang
out sometime! The weird thing is, I never hear from him! I understand the
whole "he's just not that into you" theory - but this guy will go out of his way
to talk to me and acts like I'm the only girl in the room when he sees me (it
drives me crazyy). We haven't seen each other at too many parties/events, so
he might just be waiting for more opportunities to talk to me. I just don't
understand why he hasn't called or at least texted! I've never had trouble
getting dates before, so why, now that I've found someone I'm so insanely
attracted to, can't I get the guy? Oh...and keep in mind that he might be a
ladies man. He's classically good looking, and I'm not the only girl to notice. I
appreciate you taking the time to give me some insight and advice! Thanks in
advance, Lanay ;)

Heather

Answer
Hi Heather,
It sounds like you definitely have his attention each time he sees you, so I understand how confusing it can be getting all those signals but no action towards asking you out.  

Keep in mind how the first year can be.  Everything is new.  Classes, lifestyle change and no rules.  He's good looking with charm and there is no shortage of women.  

It may be he's just playing and not looking for anything but flirtation, or he is attached in some way.  Maybe he has a girlfriend attending another school.  I've found the latter to be the case with some guys that flirt heavily but won't make the next move.

If you know he doesn't have a girlfriend, the best way to get asked out is to figure out what he likes to determine what type of woman appeals to him.  To find that out, you have to know more about him.  What are his interests?  What does he like to do off campus? Is he adventurous?  What do you have in common?

Now, ask yourself how you measure up.  What do you bring to the table?  If he's adventurous, could you suggest an activity he'd enjoy?  Mention how you just tried (rock climbing, roller-blading, frisbee golf) and loved it.  It'll open up conversation, and you'll possibly entice him into participating next time.  Maybe he'll suggest something you'd like.

The point is to find common ground.  Give him a reason to associate you with things he likes to do. That way he's more likely to think of you and call.

I hope this answered your question,

Lanay
http://datingmadeeasyforwomen.com