Expert: Lanay Stockstill - 5/29/2009

Question
I have a BIG thing going on. I felt in love with this shy guy, he acts different
towards me than anyone Ive ever known. He stares at me, he is really
outgoing with everybody else but me, he talks to me different than any other
girls, he respects me, he looks at me when i am not looking and my
girlsfriends notice it and tell me. After 1 year we no longer saw each other
than often but I still see him around and he still stares at me, so I after all this
time i send him a message through myspace saying hello and how was
everyhing going in his life, and he never responded. Then after two weeks, I
sent a second message... even nicer and nothing!  suddently I met his
bestfriend in person  couple of days after (someone introduced us), and now
his bestfriend added me to myspace ands chats to me over the phone all the
time... now I feel that his friend likes me because he asks me soooo many
questions about everything i do, think, etc......  and I know they are together
most of the time.

 I dont know what else to do???  His bestfriend wants to meet me next week
with his friends ( hopefully with him! ) but I dont want to give him the wrong
idea.... I just want to talk to my Shy Guy...   HELP HELP PLEASE!!!!!

How come he still hasnt responded me yet? I am feeling ridiculous :(

Answer
Liz,

No wonder you are so confused!  This guy just can't seem to take it to the next step.  Unfortunately, you've reach out quite a bit to him without a response.  (Have you checked to see if he's read your messages?) If he has, the lack of response could be a continuing trend with this guy.

The most important thing to notice is the contrast between these two guys.  Actions speak louder than words.  

Shy guy looks and stares but he doesn't interact with you as he does with others.  He doesn't even have the courtesy to respond politely to your messages.  His best friend, however, goes out of his way to ask you questions, talk to you over the phone, and asks you out.  

Shy guy takes no action.
His best friend takes action.

If you continue waiting around for shy guy, you will likely miss out on a lot of other great guys.  Seems like you're doing all the work anyway.  

Now, I'm not saying you have to like his friend; just keep your eyes open to guys that will tell you by their actions that they like you. Actions like taking you to dinner, opening the door, helping you with a project, and asking questions to learn more about you.

Do you really want a guy you have to pull conversation out of?

This may not be the answer you want to hear, but I can tell you I speak from experience.  I've made many mistakes going after the wrong guy.  I just want you to be aware.  Besides, if you move on, he may get up the nerve at another time.

Hope this helps,

Lanay Stockstill