Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 5/29/2009

Question
I have a BIG thing going on. I felt in love with this shy guy, he acts different
towards me than anyone Ive ever known. He stares at me, he is really
outgoing with everybody else but me, he talks to me different than any other
girls, he respects me, he looks at me when i am not looking and my
girlsfriends notice it and tell me. After 1 year we no longer saw each other
than often but I still see him around and he still stares at me, so I after all this
time i send him a message through myspace saying hello and how was
everyhing going in his life, and he never responded. Then after two weeks, I
sent a second message... even nicer and nothing!  suddently I met his
bestfriend in person  couple of days after (someone introduced us), and now
his bestfriend added me to myspace ands chats to me over the phone all the
timee... now I feel that his friend likes me because he asks me soooo many
questions about everything i do, think, etc......  and I know they are together
most of the time.

 I dont know what else to do???  He wants to meet me next week with his
friends ( hopefully with him! ) but I dont want to give him the wrong idea.... I
just want to talk to my Shy Guy...   HELP HELP PLEASE!!!!!

How come he still hasnt responded me yet? I am feeling ridiculous :(

Answer
Well, you might look at this -- you like the one who ignores you, and don't like the one who pays attention to you.  I know that there is 'chemistry' involved in these things, obviously, but just note that (and make sure it isn't a bad pattern for you), and after that -- notice how that works when you are flirting with a guy.  

If yuo're worried about what you are doing Liz, stop doing it.  It is never too neat to mess with a guy's best friend, if you are interested int he guy.  

There's isn't anything else you can do to get the shy guy interested in you except to be friendly when he comes around.  he doesn't respond because he doesn't want to.  Do NOT take the "reason" personally.  If he doesn't come around in a little while (and do NOT pursue this guy, if you do, with these guys that women call "shy", you will find that you ahve dug yourself into a hole you can't get out of ) - ig he doesn't take initiative (like men are supposed to), it will be sad, I know, but time to move on.  You are young, and you are missing out on a lot of fun.

Susan Dunn, MA
www.susandunn.cc