Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 6/4/2009

Question
There is a guy at work that I am attracted to.  We have spoke on very few occasions.  He is single, and I am not too sure what these signs are.  He always says hi whenever I walk by him, he brought me breakfast one day out of the blue, he will make it a point to walk all the way around the room by my area look in my area and keep walking by, and he has been getting more talkative to me lately.  I feel like we are talking more over the past few days.  He was standing at the counter one day in the kitchen at work and I walked around him to wash my dish and he turned all the way around to face me as I washed me dishes.  I have saw him checking my body out with his eyes (staring at the waist area), it was pretty obvious.  One of his friends in the front office says....you never know you just may end up with "so and so" (name withheld).  She has told me this a few times.  I am totally attracted, but I don't have the courage to ask him out for a drink, but why the heck wouldn't he be asking me out IF these are signs he is interested.  People at work are asking me if I have a crush on someone at work, but I don't want to answer as I work for a small company.  Is this a sign that he is interested, or should I just walk away as we have been getting a little more friendly over the past couple weeks.

Answer
Let the man doing the asking.

But first of all - it is tricky to date at work.  Any man with any sense will approach it with extreme caution, if they do it at all.  It is usually a mess, and you must understand that one of the people usually has to leave, and it will be the person with the higher position or seniority.

That having been said, people DO date at work, perilous as it is; and they DO marry co-workers.  Let this guy get good and grounded if he's going to ask you out.  Do not go by what other workers say, and it's none of your business if you do, or do not have a "crush" on someone.  Keep it all as level as you can, and see what he does.  If he does ask you out, proceed with caution and maturity.  I will say again those two things -- it can get messy and cost you your job; and that it is still listed as the way most people meet their partner.  So there you have it.

Susan Dunn, M.A.