Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 6/8/2009

Question
Hi, I met my dream guy two weeks ago tomorrow...  It was love at first sight for both of us.  We had been inseperable from the first second i saw him (literally).  We decided we didn't want to be in a relationship yet because that is too fast for both of us and I just came from a horrible relationship.  A guy that I had never met before in my life got my number and started texting me out of no where about three days ago.  He asked me on a date and of course I told him no and to lose my number, but a frenemy of mine told Dallas (dream guy).  He asked me about it and I told him it was nothing but he just told me that I would be better off with someone else.  Then, last night I ran into him at a coffee shop and we talked about it.  He told me that he didn't care anymore and he just wanted to be friends then he just walked away.  His best friend stayed at his house and called me this morning and told me Dallas cried over me last night...  I want him to be mine and only mine because he is really just everything I have ever wanted in a guy.  But, he won't talk to me and when he does, he just says I need to get over him cause nothing is ever going to happen.  What do I do?  I am supposed to be camping with him and some friends tomorrow.  Is there anything I can do to fix this or should I just give up?  Thanks

Answer
Dear Samantha,

I am sorry to hear this on one hand, but on the other, I really do think you may have dodged a bullet.  He reacts too fast - one way and then the other.

Now, when a man says "you need to get over me because nothing is going to happen," you must be a smart girl and listen to those words.  It has been said that men don't lie to women, women just don't hear them.  Since he said this - and don't worry about why - it is often a throwaway line, but it still should be heeded, what you do is leave it just at that.

Sometimes that's the way it is.  Other times, the guy will go off and think about it, and come back for another round.

If I were you I wouldn't go camping with friends if he were going to be there, but you may have already done this.  Let me know.

My advice, anyway, would be "do nothing."  Then, if HE takes initiative, you won't have to be at all confused.  It's not good to be confused, and not nice to confuse someone, wouldn't you agree?

Good luck!
Susan Dunn, M.A.