Expert: Rhapsody Love - 8/21/2009

Question
i am 29 years old and i am looking for a man dat would like to share his life with me, unfortunately i have no luck in finding one, last year i met a guy younger then me that said he wanted a good girl etc it turns out he wanted to have sex first then start a relationship i told him i don't work like that and he said really mean things to me...the problem is that he is still around a year later and sometimes txt me and says he misses me but then we end up arguing about the same subject the sex part..i dont want to sleep with him because i know he will not be faithful and i know he has another girl he sees.

i was raised with morals and still believe in them and i feel that to be intimate with someone i need to be in love with that person or atleast know that they feel the same..i can not just sleep with someone just because they look good.

recently my mother introduced me to a guy who seemed simple and good but nothing ever came of it because when the guy actually asked about me my mother didn't go with the flow and give the guy more info about me.

I told her give him my number but she hasn't returned to the place where the guy is at and it's already been two months i don't even know if the guy cares at this point.

What can i do?! am 29 and feel i am going to be single forever ..i really want to meet a nice guy who has good intentions and would respect me for me..not just sex and lies

Thanks for hearing me out

Answer
Lex,

You're not too old to find someone. Lots of people don't find the right match until they're over 30. The more men you meet, though, the more the likelihood that you'll find the right man, so you have to take some chances by finding men to be friends with first. Yes, there are men who will be friends first and not always just want sex. I think you're right about not giving in to a man who is not trustworthy to be faithful.

Find someone who has similar interests by going to public places where you can meet someone who might be your type and where you can be safe. There are now internet resources for that, too: Meetup.com has lots of interests possibilities if you live near a city. Don't just join a "singles" group, because that isn't enough in common. Flixter.com matches people according to movies they like, but remember that men and women are different - my husband and I joined that site and they said we're not compatible in spite of our being together over 35 yrs. and watching lots of movies together - he doesn't like "chic flix" and I don't like violent horror movies. It's OK to have some differences - it's natural. Check out activities at your local public library, religious organizations (church, temple, etc. - if you don't belong to one & you have a choice in your area, try the Belief-o-Matic test at BeliefNet.com - churches have social activities too usually), or sports or community clubs. I met my husband singing in a choir, but we got to know each other when we were walking to a music event and we passed a camera store window and started discussing our mutual interest in photography. What are your interests? How can you find a man by sharing your interests? I bet you can figure something out.

Good luck!

- Joyce