Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 8/30/2009

Question
i have known this guy for 9 years ever since i saw him i got that weak of knees feeling me and him became friends....and i had a crush on him so long after a hurricane i moved all over the US but every second i thought about him i moved back to my home state we started talking again and he invited me to his church so we started hanging out again and he started driving me places...etc...well i never stopped loving him since we were younger...i loved him i have that sick feeling...i told him once when we were kids and we joked around and everything about it but im serious now im so scared to tell him now its like my stomach turns when we are together we are getting older and i dont wan't to lose him i dream of him every night to where i cry over him i feel he is the one...i had a bf but every second i thought of the other boy so i broke up wit him...but yet i cant tell my crush how i feel i get so nervous around him i been trying to hang out with him without bothering him...he flirts with me sometimes but i can tell he would never date me well i dont know that for sure but i truly truly love him i cry over him my heart beats so fast he is my everything i would die for him but he don't know any of this and i would not dare tell him what do i do please please help me

Answer
Dear Victoria,

This is always a sad situation.  The way it is, if a guy is interested in dating a woman, he will ask her out.  No matter what.  It is best for you to extricate yourself from this situation emotionally, as it is just going to frustrate you further.  I understand that this is not easy to do.  It doesn't matter why he does not ask you out, just that he does not.  Work on moving your emotional attachment away from him, so you can get with a guy who wants to date you.  A one-sided thing like this is not good for you, as you know.  This is "please release me, let me go," only he isn't involved, just you, so you have to do it yourself.  Coaching, counseling etc. can help you with this and I recommend it.

All the best,
Susan Dunn, M.A.