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About Susan Dunn, Dating Coach
Expertise
I can answer any questions regarding attracting the man of your dreams including preparing yourself, letting it happen, The Rules that work and the rules that don't, meeting him, the first date, the dating relationship, recreating a failing relationship, how to tell if he's serious or not, how to get him to marry you not just date you, romance, everything. I coach clients how to do it step-by-step, and walk them through the process. I've talked with thousands of women ... let me help YOU.

Experience
I have had years of experience coaching women on how to meet and marry the man of their dreams. How to catch him and keep him! Also how to get him back when he runs away, or how to get him to marry you when he's committment-shy.

Organizations
Founding member of CoachVille and member of original R&D team. Former Board member and former Board chair for numerous local organizations.

Publications
I am widely published on the Internet on subjects related to dating, romance and marriage, as well as other lifeskills topics. (It isn't just about "dating," it's about YOU.) I'm rated A-plus on ideamarketers, and my articles regularly appear on websites around the world.

Education/Credentials
MA in Clinical Psychology.

Awards and Honors
I have an international coaching and consulting practice, I train and certify other coaches worldwide, and have been a regular presenter for the cruise lines.

Past/Present Clients
I have helped many, many women find the man of their dreams - and keep him.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams > How should I act in this -after 8 months- 2nd date?

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams - How should I act in this -after 8 months- 2nd date?


Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 8/25/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hello
A few months ago ((3/30/2009, under the title "Is he interested? What should I do?")) I wrote you about this guy I had dated last January in a very good date, 4 hour interesting talk with no physical contact at all. We kept in touch by email and chat during 8 months, and for several reasons (I was abroad for 2 months/ he´s kind of shy/ he´s really busy doing an MBA and working full time) we are going to meet again.. next week.
After talking on msn several times, I invited him to a party (yes, I was the one with the iniciative) but he preferred me to invite him for dinner at home.
What advice would you give me for this 2nd date? I´ll see him for the 2nd time.
I am really interested in the guy.
I wonder why didnt he invite me to dinner..or to drink coffee... Why did he choose to come to my house for dinner, for this 2nd date? And how should I act.  
The only thing I know from him is that he likes to chat with me, I am not connected most of the time (just once or twice a week) but we always talk when it happens. He´s not very communicative, he´s an engineer, I am a lawyer.

thank you very much Susan!
Dolores



ANSWER: How did you end up having him to your house for dinner for the 2nd date???

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: The point is: he´s busy. He´s shy. He has showed interest in talking to me. I have a higher social status, but see potential in him. We had a very good 1st date ( the best for me in years, and I´ve been meeting guys.. and very hardly fall in love).
After talking on the chat for weeks, I asked him to see each other, inviting him to a friends of mine party. Which is a social, not too personal invitation. But I thought we could talk a little in person, and (maybe) dance. He replied: "but I would be at a disadvantage, since you would be with all your girl friends around, and I would be alone". So that he asked me: when are you inviting me to dinner at your house?
That´s it.

I still can move back and cancel this. But he mentioned this dinner several times while talking on the chat last week.

Thank you Susan..
Dolores

Answer
No man should be allowed into your home until way into the relationship and you know his intentions.  Ditto sex.  

Rewind and redo and let HIM do the pursuing.  If he is interested, he will pursue.  I mean if he is interested in a relationship.  To allow him to "get" you to invite him into your home is even worse than "delivering the pizza."  Don't do any of the marital things until you are married - and cooking, actually, is even more intimate than sex to many men.

Saying things like "shy" and "busy" is a dodge.  A man who is interested will pursue.  You have given him every indication you are interested.  The only way you will know that HE is interested in YOU (attracted to you) is to get behavioral evidence, i.e., he asks you out for a real date.  

All the best,
Susan Dunn

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