Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 9/16/2009

Question
I've known this guy for a little over a year, and I've been attracted to him for at least 7 months of that time.  He's older, which isn't really an issue, only in the sense that he's in a  higher position than myself, therefor a relationship (if it ever happened) might be frowned upon.  Also, he has 3 kids.  
I see him almost everyday, and we usually make eye contact, but he doesn't always smile, but when he does, there's a magical connection.
I didn't think that I was very obvious in my sometimes unintentional flirting, but according to my friends, I'm not incredibly subtle.  I think that sometimes he kind of plays with it, granted he knows I'm interested...
How can I get HIM to be interested without making a complete fool of myself if he isn't in the long run?

Answer
Dear Michelle,

So beautifully put, and the thing we all struggle with -- "without making a complete fool of myself if he isn't in the long run".  [sigh]  Well, love maketh fools of us all.  This is why it's important to let the guy make the move.  It's up to them.  They know how to do it. Courtship behavior is hard-wired.

It sounds like you are doing appropriate flirting.  Why he hasn't made a move?  Well, that's the question, because if a man is interested in dating a woman, there will be no stopping him. Maybe he will with time.  In the meantime, keep being pleasant to be with, a little flirting is okay, and see what he does.  If he's interested, HE will do something.

All the best,
Susan Dunn, M.A.
www.susandunn.cc  
sdunn@susandunn.cc  

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