Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 9/11/2009

Question
Hi, I really like this guy...he is really handsome, sweet, kind, polite, smart, funny, and cute...he is very respectful, doesn't drink, smoke, use drugs, doesn't sleep around...he comes from a good, clean, respectful family...my parents approve of him even though we are of different races... we get along well, we are both getting our doctorate degree...

Anyway he plays a lot of video games but I don't know if he's an addict or just an enthusiastic gamer.

Anyway, he is part of this thing called "cosplay" basically it is where people make their own costumes and dress up like their favorite characters from video games. They have conventions and they have costume contests and they play games with fake swords. Fun stuff. So he spends a lot of money making these costumes and attends these conventions about 2-3 times a year.

Anyway, I was just wondering...I don't mind playing video games every now and then, but I'm not this obsessed...not like he is...

he works 40-60 hours a week (as do I) and he's on those cosplay forums online like 4 hours a day...

Is this too much to date someone? Should I avoid this man?

I mean, there's stuff I like too, like I'm really into music, I'm obsessed with my favorite bands, etc...

I mean, I guess I'm on youtube downloading music videos all the time too... but i never dress up like the musicians in the bands (hahaha)

How much would you say is too much?

thanks
Ana

Answer
Dear Ana,

I'm not familiar with this ... I think you'd better go with your instincts (intuition) on this one.  Something's bothering you.  Pay attention to it.  Give it a bit more time, paying attention to how this effects his life, and yours as a couple.  Then give it an honest look-see.  You will have to decide how much is "too much."

All the best,
Susan Dunn, M.A.
www.susandunn.cc