Expert: Rhapsody Love - 11/6/2010

Question
Hello, I hear that in order to get someone to be in love, there needs to be an "emotional attraction". How exactly do you trigger an emotional attraction with a guy?  what is this? thanks

Answer
misskitty,

Guys are individuals, just like women - there's no one way that works on all of them. How could a guy who loves you whom you didn't love get you to love him?

Guys are different than women and our society gives us different roles. You can't send him flowers and chocolates or buy him diamonds (not that that works on all women & I'm glad it doesn't - women shouldn't be bought). But it's a seduction - it gets their attentions and that what you need to do with him, though there's no guarantee it will work.

With my guy, I shared a couple of interests he had, so I talked to him about those interests. He liked that and he liked that I listened to him and I may have told him that I thought he was very smart or something to that effect (I know I thought it and may have just paid attention to him and listened to him in a way that made him feel that). Your guy may not be an intellectual and want to be appreciated for being smart. Maybe he has other qualities he'd like to have appreciated.

Men also like women's bodies and you can dress and flirt in a way that gets his attention. That doesn't mean you have to hop in bed with him if he does pay attention. He can desire your body while you gently demand respect and have some conversation or engage in some activity together. Sometimes a physical attraction can turn into much more. That's what happened with my husband, but we did have a lot in common and I pursued him respectfully and consistantly. It took 3 mos. before we started "going together" and then 5 yrs. before we were engaged and another year before we were married. Sometimes patience is needed, but that's true in most relationships at some point.

I hope that works for you and if not, I hope you find something that does work with the one you care about.

Good luck!

- Joyce