Expert: Rhapsody Love - 4/26/2010

Question
I have been studying an eastern art with a particular teacher for several years. We have become friends and talk quite often. We share long, intense eye contact and I am aware of him checking me out very often - several times a day sometimes. It is clear, I think, that he is attracted to me and I am attracted to him, yet he has not asked me out.

His wife left him over a year ago and they are now divorced.  I know that he had indicated interest (privately) to another female student right after that (over a year ago). She was not interested and eventually left the school because she was uncomfortable. She told me this when I ran into her much later - I never told her that I like him.

Anyway, the situation is driving me crazy. I wonder if I should do anything to let him know my feelings, or let it go (which I've tried, but keep getting re-attracted). I keep wondering if I am mistaking his "looks". It seems impossible, but then why has he not approached me for a date or to spend some time together?

Answer
Lizette,

I suggest you not just let it go if all signs point to interest in you. He may be afraid of being hurt again. He may be afraid you wouldn't be interested in him. There's nothing wrong with you making a move. Have lunch with him. Ask him to a movie or sports game or concert or something he likes (& you do, too). If you don't want it to seem like you're asking him on a date, you can make it sound like you're going any way and you think he'd enjoy it. Or maybe you can find another way to be with him as a friend so you can get to know each other better. When the time is right, if you're making yourself obvious, he may make his move.

Good luck!

- Joyce