Expert: Rhapsody Love - 5/4/2010

Question
QUESTION: How do I get his attention in the first place? I'm 20 years old, but I've never had a boyfriend before. It seems that I don't have a knack for being attractive. I've made an effort to be friendly, not just towards guys I like, but towards everybody. I still don't see any changes. I've read all the tips about being attractive: leave a mystery, be open and friendly, don't compare him to other guys, listen to what he has to say...but all I've gotten is a bunch of acquaintances. I can't even call them friends. What am I doing wrong??

ANSWER: You said, "It seems that I don't have a knack for being attractive." I recommend, "Tips to make yourself attractive to guys": http://www.mydearvalentine.com/top-10/tips-to-make-yourself-attractive-to-guys.h

I think it's good to be friendly toward everyone, but if you're interested in him you have to make a special point to be extra friendly to him. Get to know him better. Invite him to things you go to that you know he'd enjoy, too. Ask questions about his likes & dislikes (music, movies, museums, outing places, food/restaurants, etc.). When you're friendlier, ask about his dreams for the future & she if yours and his dreams can match up.

To make an acquaintance a friend, ask them over to your place for a cook-out or some kind of party they'd like or ask them out to dinner with you. It's true for a potential lover and a potential good friend. Hopefully, they'll invite in return, but people are different & I don't consider a person not a friend just because they didn't equally extend an invitation. If we talk & see each other casually & have things in common, they're my friend.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

- Joyce

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: There is one guy I like, but I always end up feeling stupid around him. Anything I do just makes me feel awkward around him. Like yesterday, I went to see him play piano at a concert and afterwards I was walking by him and he smiled (at least I think he did...it looked more like a grimace). So I stopped and said, "What was THAT?" And he just said "I don't know," and laughed. And then I walked away feeling stupid. My brain froze...I didn't even think of saying "Good job" or anything remotely intelligent. How can I stop this from happening? :(

Answer
Christa,

I think everyone has this problem sometimes. Some people just worry about it more. I've done that, too. It doesn't help to worry about it. He probably doesn't even remember it since we tend not to remember small things that are insignificant. If he does, then it was significant to him for some reason, like he likes you, too, and was also concerned about your response to him. Guys think a bit differently than women do, though, and think less about those little social things than we do.

It's not too late to say, "I meant to tell you how good I thought you were in the concert." And to continue the conversation you can ask him a question about his playing - when is his last concert, does he think he'll go into it as a career or become a Music major (I don't know if he already is but you might think of an appropriate question).

Are you friends on Facebook or have his email address? If you don't think you'll have the opportunity to tell him face-to-face soon, you could tell him that way. Keep it short and sweet.

Good luck!

- Joyce