Expert: L.E. Coleman - 6/3/2010

Question
hi,I'm a Chinese girl at 24. Recently, i met a guy from US at work. I really like him. He's nice, honest, passionate,willing to learn and smart. I am always nice to him and offer help when he needs. I think he also treats me as someone that he can rely on at work. If I'm not happy, he always can feel and asks me if I'm ok, which makes me feel warm. And he keeps telling me I'm special, although I know he only means I'm special nice to him.
But same as other foreign guys, he likes to go to clubs and bars. And I know that a lot of chinese girls keep calling him. And he looks very happy that the girls are interested in him. I can see the smile on his face when he's typing msg. Meanwhile, he says that he goes to the club only for music and drink, not for girls. He don't think girls in the club is good to be a girlfriend. They are interested just because he's a foreigner.
I really likes him not because he's a foreigner but his personality. I believe he's a good guy. However, I just feel that he's not that into me, only treats me as a good colleague. Like he will call and text to other girls but never to me. I'm thinking if I should tell him. But we are working in the same office. I don't want him to be uncomfortable or awkward.
What should I do? I don't want to miss the guy. Please give me some advice.

Answer
Hi Sarah.

If you intuitively feel that he's not all that into you why pursue a relationship with him. You're already way ahead of the game because you can sense that he's on a different wave length. You don't strike me as the 'club' kind of girl and right now he's just having a little fun and eating things up (the attention he gets from other girls.)

He might indeed be a wonderful guy but I don't think he's the guy for you--at least, not right now.
You don't have to worry about missing out on a relationship with this guy. Believe or not, guys can sense when someone's interested in them. I don't think you'll take him by surprise if you let him know that you're interested.  However, on the flip side of things, your silence may set you apart from those other girls, and in time he may pursue you.  Nevertheless, if you really want to know where he's at--as far as relationships go--you're going to have to ask him.  If you can't do this, wait and see where things take you.  There's nothing to fear.  You can't lose something you never had.

Take care, my sister

L.E.