How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/me.
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QUESTION: So... I was reading an earlier answer of yours in which you said guys like it when you show a lot interest. What's too much interest though? What's too much flirting? How do you know when you're flirting over top when other people are around? I thought that when you flirt with someone you're interested in, it's a sign that you're confident around him. But recently one of my friends told me that I should tone down my flirting. Can you please explain to me what's over the top and what's not?
ANSWER: Hello Sarah!
Great question but not easy to answer!
Unfortunately, the vast majority of girls show far, far too little interest. It's impossible to tell the girls that are interested from the ones with no interest whatsoever. You girls do this for a number of reasons including not wanting to look desperate or too being too forward or not wanting to show your real intentions. The problem with this is that guys aren't going to try to fight a brick wall and simply move on to someone less evasive.
As to when it's too much, it depends on the circumstances and the people involved. In order to flirt well, you have to be able to watch the other person at the same time and judge their reactions to your flirting. If they seem to be pulling back, it's either too much or too little.
You have to have some baseline to work with. Find a point that's comfortable for you with someone and then slowly begin to ramp it up. See what their reaction to it is and then adjust accordingly. Slightly too little (and I mean "slightly") is probably about right.
I'd be very careful about using your girlfriend's suggestions about just how much to flirt. Frankly, they usually don't know either and worse, may have some other reason for asking you to pull back. The only person to decide is the person you're interested in.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hm...
well we were hanging out with other friends and playing pool.
so maybe just don't flirt in the presence of other friends?
Hello again Sarah!
Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know these people you're talking about.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
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Answers by Expert:
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Expertise
Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.
Experience
I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along!
After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.
Organizations
Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.
Publications
Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.
Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy
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