Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/18/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hey Dennis,

I have large tattoos on both of my forearms and I go to college (I’m a guy). I always wear long sleeves to cover them up (because I don’t want professors to see them) but there have been a few times where I’ve revealed them. I work in a lab on campus and I sometimes reveal them when I’m at work. If people in general know you are hiding your tattoos, like if they’ve seen you expose them or they’ve seen a little bit of them when your sleeves accidentally roll up a little bit, do they look down on you? What about girls- do they find it unattractive? Like is it a sign of insecurity or lack of confidence?

Here are pics of them, in case it helps (it’s a koi fish on one arm and a bonsai tree on the other arm, so it’s nothing offensive):

http://img227.imageshack.us/gal.php?g=bonsai1.jpg

Thanks.


ANSWER: Hello Tom!

It's unfortunate, but most people (including women) look down on tattoos. In fact, they actually look dirty and cause the body to look misshapen. The body is a wonder of symmetry making it beautiful to the eye. Tattoos undermine that symmetry.

There was a study done a few years ago about facial symmetry and a number was determined (called the "golden ratio", equal to 1.61803398875) that fits all people considered "beautiful". That ratio defines the symmetry between all the facial features, but also ties that in with body proportions too.

Anything you do that affects that visual ratio either by breaking it up, interrupting it, moving away from it, etc., causes your looks-value to go down. Further, tattoos used to be a symbol of connection with a culture or had some other cultural significance. They were a permanent marking that tied you in with a culture or group of people.

Today however, they are simply "trendy". Tattoos are often now viewed as trying to just be "one of the crowd". That usually translates to insecurity and a lack of self-confidence and lack of self-esteem.

Tom, I'm not telling you this to make you feel insecure, it's simply a fact.

Now, with that said, there ARE women that find tattoos attractive. Yours are quite well done, but if you had known these facts before you got them, you might have made different choices.

That doesn't mean you can't compensate for this however. If you work on your skills with women and really build those up, even girls that are not attracted to tattoos can be just as available to you as those that are.

Keep in mind that earning these skills is far, far easier than trying to determine which girls like; and which ones don't like, tattoos.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So if girls know that I have tattoos and they know I always cover them up at school, will they find that unattractive? Is it a sign of insecurity and lack of confidence to them? Or it won’t really matter and they’ll just think that I don’t want teachers seeing them?

Answer
Hello again Tom!

Which girls? Every girl is different. It's not possible to say that all or any particular ones will or will not. You have to take it on a case-by-case basis.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"