Expert: Rhapsody Love - 1/18/2011

Question
QUESTION: hi
i am working in a college as lecturer since last 4 months.in my department my coworker lecturer is very handsome just like my dream boy.firstly i ignored him when he was glare me every where in college but now i am attracted towards him.when i join college i never talk to him.he always set to my another coworker cabin which is front of my cabin and his own cabin is in backside to my cabin.distance between in my cabin and his cabin is 5 minutes to walk.he is shy person.i don't  know very much about him and i don't know he like me or not..what i do to know that he is interested me or not??
please help me ?????
i like him very much but i have only 15 days because my parents want me to marry as soon as possible and they searching the buys.and they almost final the two guys. and they forcing me to choose one of them...
but i like my coworker.....
please help me what to do????
can i choose that one guy which was chosen by my parents or i go with my coworker???

thanks in advance....

ANSWER: RRSC,

Your customs there are different than in the United States. If I were you, I'd think to myself, "how would it hurt to be bold and approach my co-worker?" Could you tell him you like him and your parents will have an arranged marriage for you in 2 weeks? Could you ask him if he's interested in you?

It's not good to rush a marriage that you want to last a lifetime, but maybe if you knew he was interested, you could hold your parents off from arranging something? I think you need to get to know your co-worker better. If he's shy, you haven't had a chance to talk and really get to know each other.

If it doesn't work out with the co-worker or if your parents choose a guy before you can get to know your co-worker enough, it doesn't mean it can't work out with the guy your parents choose. If you both go into the marriage believing that it will work and you will treat each other well, it has a better chance.

What is love? There is some chemistry involved, but most of it is in the mind - you can think yourself into loving someone. Hopefully your parents would choose well.

You have time, though, so if you think you'd prefer to choose someone that you already have feelings for, now is the time to let him know.

I hope that helps.

Good luck!

- Joyce

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi,
thanks a lot for ur advice....
i am an Indian girl and i am  26 years old and in India it is very big thing that 26 years old girl not married that's why my parents rush for my marry.i am very confuse what to do can i leave thinking about my co-worker or go to my parents choice?
or how to start talk with him? between me and him no common topic or nothing else is there?
and how i know that he's interested in me or not without talk to him?
and one thing is that we have a common co-worker(coworker cabin is in front of my cabin) friend and he knows about all thing of my side but he can't help me?and he also say that to me that this guy is lay it to u?
he tell me he having an affair from last 1 year and his affair at breakup stage and he can't overcome with that?
please help what i do????

 

please help....
thanks in advance....

Answer
If your common co-worker has told you that he has affairs, then I think he is not good for you. If he can't help you and you have nothing to talk to him about, then how would you be able to tell him how you feel? 26 is not too old in the United States to get married. Some people wait until into their 30s, but your parents have expectations so I don't know how to help you.

If you see him at work or after work and you feel you have the nerve to talk to him, then just say whatever comes to mind. If it does not happen, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe the man your parents choose will be good for you.

Good luck!

- Joyce