Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/10/2011

Question
Hey theres this guy I grew up with. He's a football player, tall, sensitive and sweet. I have always had feelings for him since we were just kids playing in the dirt. Well sometimes he confuses me because everytime I ask him something, he answers the question but its like he's scared to tell me the truth, maybe because of what his friends might think. I know he is attracted to me because we always flirt in class and sometimes we text and flirt. I know deep down inside I am the only girl for him because I know his heart and I would never leave him in the dark or be with him because of his popularity or money. Sometimes I have my insincerity because of my size. I feel he still likes me because of my size but I don't know if he would literally date me being this size (I'm only 280 lol). Sometimes I try not to think about it because maybe he doesn't. All I know is something is going to happen between us and there is a possibility of a future. I have feelings for him and I want him so bad....so what should I do?

Answer
Hello Kierra!

You're 280 what? Pounds?

You've said it yourself - this is YOUR insecurity. You don't get to decide for him what he wants or doesn't want. Instead, you need to let him decide that for himself.

With that said, if you don't make it easy for him to make that choice, he'll find other choices to make instead. Thus, as to what you should do? First, get over this insecurity. If it takes getting down to your "fighting weight" then get going on it already!

At the same time, stop deciding for him what he should or shouldn't want. That's his choice. Simply GIVE him the choice! Connect with him and set something up to spend time together and see where things go.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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